Q: Do you ever send professional association letters, and how do you go about composing them?
Yes, I send professional letters all the time. A good rule of thumb is to always ask yourself: what is the purpose of the correspondence? Is it to invite attendees? Is the purpose to update members (such as the examples from Cindy and I below) on the association's events or work?
You can be personal but not be too personal. For instance, start with a sincere sentence like:
"Hi (your name here),
I hope everyone in your family is well.
Procede to what you really want:
I just wanted to remind you about our Writing Workshop which we will be holding in the Clubhouse of our Complex this coming Saturday.
End with a sincere tagline and sign-out:
If there are any questions or concerns, please call my cell. I know you mentioned a previous engagement, but you are always welcome to join us!
Sincerely (or better yet---) Your Friend,
RR Macon
Atlanta
---------------
Another good tip is to keep it simple. Cindy keeps her letters more compact than me, but I make up for that by including helpful links.
In the example below Cindy and I wanted our Urban Professionals Network to set-aside certain event dates.
However, always trying to go that extra mile with writing---I also used the letter to compliment members who have business tools our entire group could share.
So it accomplishes both goals:
-----------------------------------
Hi Urban Professionals (UP)!
I just want to commend David Page on his company's growth to an Internet-Based business. Check out this link to his web site: http://www.page-enterprises.cceasy.com/index.cfm.We have seen David's web site grow from being an info-only page to a business where you can receive your own login and customers discounts. You can shop, and browse hundreds of products. David this must have taken a long time and as one of your fellow UP Members, I compliment you.
In the world of mortgage news---have you ever wanted to "watch" a housing market from as far as two states away? The other day Lonnie Schatz and I compared notes and we both are interested in watching the South Florida real estate market. AHM has a great tool which you can use to watch other real estate markets. Locally I use their Home Buyers Marketplace "Scout" to keep my eye of the 30306 area code. If you know ANY realtors, send them Lonnie's way. Believe me, they need this tool more than ever. (To inquire, send Lonnie an email Lonnie Schatz lonnie.schatz@americanhm.com).
Also congratulations to Leah Henderson's son Adam Arcuragi for getting recognized by ABC News. Adam is a very talented musician.
I play Adam's demo CD all the time and I am happy he is getting the recognition he deserves: http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/index?section=entertainment&id=4528277
We hope to everyone at the breakfast on February 7th at Huey's (8-9am). UP Members please feel free to bring a guest.
At UP we celebrate small business and the many steps it takes to be successful. And we can be successful. Keep climbing higher everyone! Cindy Caldwell's Monthly email follows...
Your Friend,
Ray Macon
Persily & Associates
"Now a full service law firm!"
404-352-1100
http://www.persilylaw.com/
http://raisemytownmylove.blogspot.com/
-----------------------------------------
Hi everyone...
Please save the dates for our February events!
Wed, Feb 7 from 8 - 9am at Huey's on Peachtree in Midtown--invite guests for coffee, beignets & professional networking! We will do one-minutes and set up our speaker schedule for '07. We encourage you to invite guests to speak for future meetings!
Thursday, Feb 22 - margaritas at El Azteca (close to Huey's on Peachtree) from 6 - 8pm -- casual networking!
An email will be coming from Ray shortly that you can use to invite guests to these events.
--Cindy
Cindy D. Caldwell
Creative Consultant/Business Development
Randstad Creative Talent
"Good to Know You"
http://www.us.randstad.com/
http://www.randstadinsight.com/ (National Employment News)
Monday, January 29, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
Creating an Outline
Sometimes the best way to finish a story is to think through the entire story in one-line sentences. Then, allow each sentence to represent a chapter. If you already know where you are going with the story, simply by knowing what is expected from each small segment can lead your book to finality.
This is a half list of chapters for my RAISE outline. Part of the book takes place in the Present, the other in 1950s. Some of the flashbacks have not been completed by my Co-author.
It's a great example of how to start a story, nonetheless:
Raise My Town My Love
Chapter 1 The Accident
Chapter 2 The Diner
Chapter 3 The Old Man
Chapter 4 David Unwinds
Chapter 5 Chopping Cotton
Chapter 6 Home Life with the Leathers
Chapter 7 David Awakes---Crystal Comes Home
Chapter 8 More Rest and Art Supplies
Chapter 9 Our Big Town
Chapter 10 Tension: Will It Rain Before Harvest?
Chapter 11 Cotton Trailer Line Wait
Chapter 12 Weigh-In of Trailers and Bales are Formed
Chapter 13 Friend Killed Stompin’ Cotton
Chapter 14 Funeral for a Friend
Chapter 15 Hunt Day
Chapter 16 The Hunt
Chapter 17 Christmas at the Leathers
Chapter 18 Modern Day: Hunt Day Goodbyes
Chapter 19 Crystal at the Diner
Chapter 20 David at Home with Trumpet
Chapter 21 Flashback
Chapter 22 Flashback
Chapter 23 Flashback
Chapter 24 David showers and goes for coffee and to see Crystal.
Chapter 25 The Marketing Expert Stranger
Chapter 26 Conversation with a Stranger
Chapter 27 Tour of Town with the Stranger
Chapter 28 Flashback: The death of Stan Leathers
Chapter 29 Flashback: L.E. our new dad?
Chapter 30 Flashback: Life on the farm
Chapter 31 Day Off---Trip to City
Chapter 32 Meet Marketing Expert for Dinner
Chapter 33 Flashback: Children Begin to Leave
Chapter 34 Flashback: Child #2 Leaves
Chapter 35 Flashback: Children 3 & 4 leave…well kind of leave.
Chapter 36 David dreams of a “last wagon train to Hollis.”
Chapter 37 A Walk in the Park with Crystal
Chapter 38 Tour of Dallas with the Marketing Director
Chapter 39 Dull day back at work in Hollis
Chapter 40 Mexican Birthday Party
Chapter 41 Flashback: The Leathers family takes in 5 strangers
Chapter 42 Flashback: Brothers go hunting together with strangers
Chapter 43 Flashback: Oldest Brother Trey becomes a policeman
Chapter 44 Flashback: Davey becomes a policeman
Chapter 45 Flashback: Hard Times Ahead: Pills...and kids to boot.
Chapter 46 Policeman Dave and the Weird Smell by the Bridge
Chapter 47 David in the Library researching American Roadside Attractions
Chapter 48 David meets friend, Douglas, who helps investigate smell.
Chapter 49 David finds the body of a Latina
Chapter 50 Consoles Crystal. Several days of his following her home.
Chapter 51 Flashback:
Chapter 52 Flashback:
Chapter 53 Flashback:
Chapter 54 Clue: "This ole town, people going down."
Chapter 55 David and OBI meet to discuss case.
Chapter 56 David & Deputies beef-up control of town
Chapter 57 Fashion Shoot in Hollis
Chapter 58 Conversations in the Diner
Chapter 59 Missing Model
Chapter 60 Flashback:
Chapter 61 Flashback:
Chapter 62 Flashback:
Chapter 63 Missing Model found dead
Chapter 64 David is questioned by his old boss, the Sheriff
Chapter 65 David is questioned by the press
Chapter 66 David meets a reporter
Chapter 67 David plays trumpet after reading his "bad press", finds clue.
Chapter 68 OBI reveals a connection and warns of a loose "madman".
Chapter 69 David on patrol
Chapter 70 Flashback:
Chapter 71 Flashback:
Chapter 72 Flashback:
Chapter 73 David follows a stranger
Chapter 74 Killer traps Crystal
Chapter 75 David confronts and kills murderer
Chapter 76 David is cleared, consoles Crystal
Chapter 77 David & Crystal spend time together, magazine spread arrives
Chapter 78 Movie company calls for shoot
Chapter 79 Leathers children return to Hollis
Chapter 80 Leathers new:
Chapter 81 Leathers new:
Chapter 82 David asks Crystal's father for her hand in marriage
Chapter 83 David on patrol, reads positive article about town
Chapter 84 Movie studio comes to town, changing city scape and rundown look.
Chapter 85 Crystal & David become engaged
Chapter 86 David becomes Catholic
Chapter 87 David & Crystal speak of moving
Chapter 88 Wedding Town
Chapter 89 Reality & the town today
This is a half list of chapters for my RAISE outline. Part of the book takes place in the Present, the other in 1950s. Some of the flashbacks have not been completed by my Co-author.
It's a great example of how to start a story, nonetheless:
Raise My Town My Love
Chapter 1 The Accident
Chapter 2 The Diner
Chapter 3 The Old Man
Chapter 4 David Unwinds
Chapter 5 Chopping Cotton
Chapter 6 Home Life with the Leathers
Chapter 7 David Awakes---Crystal Comes Home
Chapter 8 More Rest and Art Supplies
Chapter 9 Our Big Town
Chapter 10 Tension: Will It Rain Before Harvest?
Chapter 11 Cotton Trailer Line Wait
Chapter 12 Weigh-In of Trailers and Bales are Formed
Chapter 13 Friend Killed Stompin’ Cotton
Chapter 14 Funeral for a Friend
Chapter 15 Hunt Day
Chapter 16 The Hunt
Chapter 17 Christmas at the Leathers
Chapter 18 Modern Day: Hunt Day Goodbyes
Chapter 19 Crystal at the Diner
Chapter 20 David at Home with Trumpet
Chapter 21 Flashback
Chapter 22 Flashback
Chapter 23 Flashback
Chapter 24 David showers and goes for coffee and to see Crystal.
Chapter 25 The Marketing Expert Stranger
Chapter 26 Conversation with a Stranger
Chapter 27 Tour of Town with the Stranger
Chapter 28 Flashback: The death of Stan Leathers
Chapter 29 Flashback: L.E. our new dad?
Chapter 30 Flashback: Life on the farm
Chapter 31 Day Off---Trip to City
Chapter 32 Meet Marketing Expert for Dinner
Chapter 33 Flashback: Children Begin to Leave
Chapter 34 Flashback: Child #2 Leaves
Chapter 35 Flashback: Children 3 & 4 leave…well kind of leave.
Chapter 36 David dreams of a “last wagon train to Hollis.”
Chapter 37 A Walk in the Park with Crystal
Chapter 38 Tour of Dallas with the Marketing Director
Chapter 39 Dull day back at work in Hollis
Chapter 40 Mexican Birthday Party
Chapter 41 Flashback: The Leathers family takes in 5 strangers
Chapter 42 Flashback: Brothers go hunting together with strangers
Chapter 43 Flashback: Oldest Brother Trey becomes a policeman
Chapter 44 Flashback: Davey becomes a policeman
Chapter 45 Flashback: Hard Times Ahead: Pills...and kids to boot.
Chapter 46 Policeman Dave and the Weird Smell by the Bridge
Chapter 47 David in the Library researching American Roadside Attractions
Chapter 48 David meets friend, Douglas, who helps investigate smell.
Chapter 49 David finds the body of a Latina
Chapter 50 Consoles Crystal. Several days of his following her home.
Chapter 51 Flashback:
Chapter 52 Flashback:
Chapter 53 Flashback:
Chapter 54 Clue: "This ole town, people going down."
Chapter 55 David and OBI meet to discuss case.
Chapter 56 David & Deputies beef-up control of town
Chapter 57 Fashion Shoot in Hollis
Chapter 58 Conversations in the Diner
Chapter 59 Missing Model
Chapter 60 Flashback:
Chapter 61 Flashback:
Chapter 62 Flashback:
Chapter 63 Missing Model found dead
Chapter 64 David is questioned by his old boss, the Sheriff
Chapter 65 David is questioned by the press
Chapter 66 David meets a reporter
Chapter 67 David plays trumpet after reading his "bad press", finds clue.
Chapter 68 OBI reveals a connection and warns of a loose "madman".
Chapter 69 David on patrol
Chapter 70 Flashback:
Chapter 71 Flashback:
Chapter 72 Flashback:
Chapter 73 David follows a stranger
Chapter 74 Killer traps Crystal
Chapter 75 David confronts and kills murderer
Chapter 76 David is cleared, consoles Crystal
Chapter 77 David & Crystal spend time together, magazine spread arrives
Chapter 78 Movie company calls for shoot
Chapter 79 Leathers children return to Hollis
Chapter 80 Leathers new:
Chapter 81 Leathers new:
Chapter 82 David asks Crystal's father for her hand in marriage
Chapter 83 David on patrol, reads positive article about town
Chapter 84 Movie studio comes to town, changing city scape and rundown look.
Chapter 85 Crystal & David become engaged
Chapter 86 David becomes Catholic
Chapter 87 David & Crystal speak of moving
Chapter 88 Wedding Town
Chapter 89 Reality & the town today
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Working on a Baby Lake chapter.
This might be interesting: watch me edit this chapter throughout the week. It still needs about 3-6K words.
For the longest time I have wanted to bring in my mother's brothers to the Baby Lake story. They were notorious about fighting. In the book I am making them twins.
I have made the brothers characters who believed in the art of pro wrestling long before it was ever popular. In fact, Jim and John attain popularity and money by making it as believable as possible.
Chapter 18 The Twins
Fists crunch.
Hands of young men---just as calloused as working men---clash together, sharply cutting air pockets with fast hands.
Grunts, the sounds of carefully placed feet.
Again, the bare scraping of skin …the closest the DNA had come in 17 years since separation? These guys loved to wrestle.
Since no other boys their age were as sinewy, much less cocky…the Ellis boys knew how to fight. But better yet: they knew how to fake a fight.
Oh, and the crowds it would draw: two physically exact men, …in total mirror form as they clashed and controlled the interact.
“Wormy” Jim said. “…get the bets?”
“You assholes need to wear different shirts”
“I thought you were blue,” John said. His muscles stretched the fabric Red.
“You got the bets, ass shit? And I’m Red dumbass. I have a worse temper. I’m always Red Dipshit.” Jim loved to curse. It was the best way to express an opinion. Out curse the guy, and you’re the bigger man.
“Well tonight’s we both Red Jimbo.”
Jim answered with a punch.
“Owwh. Damn Jim. That wasn’t a fake.”
“Damn right you sonofabitch. I’ll punch your…”
Almost in a flash, the crowd of boys and even bigger boys from Minor High School appeared. “…there they are. Fucking twins.”
“Gentlemen place yor bets,” Wormy---the small boy with a large forehead, said. He was always good for an improvised moment--- “…Red VS Red today…”.
John interrupted. “Red VS Shirtless. Jim is Red on Thursdays.” And with that he stripped his shirt.
John had a better physique than Jim anyway. Jim liked the biscuits and gravy, and even though the crowds couldn’t tell---John knew there was a weight difference between he and his twin brother.
But one thing remained--- they loved to put on a good show. Especially for the older boys. And what a show!
"...damn those boys are crazy."
Later that night, after counting their winnings and mending their ever-so-slight scrapes, the boys laughed in the same evil way. The way they always laughed when they knew something others didn't.
The goal was understood and unspoken.
Make them fear us. Make them worship us. High school would be simple.
“…gonna take that fucking Minor High School.” Jim smirked.
For the longest time I have wanted to bring in my mother's brothers to the Baby Lake story. They were notorious about fighting. In the book I am making them twins.
I have made the brothers characters who believed in the art of pro wrestling long before it was ever popular. In fact, Jim and John attain popularity and money by making it as believable as possible.
Chapter 18 The Twins
Fists crunch.
Hands of young men---just as calloused as working men---clash together, sharply cutting air pockets with fast hands.
Grunts, the sounds of carefully placed feet.
Again, the bare scraping of skin …the closest the DNA had come in 17 years since separation? These guys loved to wrestle.
Since no other boys their age were as sinewy, much less cocky…the Ellis boys knew how to fight. But better yet: they knew how to fake a fight.
Oh, and the crowds it would draw: two physically exact men, …in total mirror form as they clashed and controlled the interact.
“Wormy” Jim said. “…get the bets?”
“You assholes need to wear different shirts”
“I thought you were blue,” John said. His muscles stretched the fabric Red.
“You got the bets, ass shit? And I’m Red dumbass. I have a worse temper. I’m always Red Dipshit.” Jim loved to curse. It was the best way to express an opinion. Out curse the guy, and you’re the bigger man.
“Well tonight’s we both Red Jimbo.”
Jim answered with a punch.
“Owwh. Damn Jim. That wasn’t a fake.”
“Damn right you sonofabitch. I’ll punch your…”
Almost in a flash, the crowd of boys and even bigger boys from Minor High School appeared. “…there they are. Fucking twins.”
“Gentlemen place yor bets,” Wormy---the small boy with a large forehead, said. He was always good for an improvised moment--- “…Red VS Red today…”.
John interrupted. “Red VS Shirtless. Jim is Red on Thursdays.” And with that he stripped his shirt.
John had a better physique than Jim anyway. Jim liked the biscuits and gravy, and even though the crowds couldn’t tell---John knew there was a weight difference between he and his twin brother.
But one thing remained--- they loved to put on a good show. Especially for the older boys. And what a show!
"...damn those boys are crazy."
Later that night, after counting their winnings and mending their ever-so-slight scrapes, the boys laughed in the same evil way. The way they always laughed when they knew something others didn't.
The goal was understood and unspoken.
Make them fear us. Make them worship us. High school would be simple.
“…gonna take that fucking Minor High School.” Jim smirked.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Hearts Aflame Away from the Firehouse
My friend Yvonne's birthday this last August was so big it required renting a cabin by the lake.
Her husband, a fireman, was all for it. They had purchased a boat and planned to take guests around the lake "tubing".
For the weekend Dave invited all of his buddies & their wives. Yvonne invited her family and friends. Yes the Midtown guys came up from the big city.We had a really fun party.
And I had something up my sleeve.
A couple weeks before I asked Yvonne to tell me how she and Dave met. I thought if I could write something with more truth to it than lies I might also get them to teach their friends a little more about them. It's really a wonderful story, and I'm glad I got it on paper---as crazy as it reads.
As a special treat, I wrote a play for all of us to "roast" the happy couple.
This was a big surprise for Yvonne and Dave! We passed-out dolls and made them act as themselves in front of the crowd of friends.
One of the other surprises was that we gave her a "Fireman Billy" doll which, well...you'll have to look that one up on the Internet.
Keep in mind we wanted their friends to participate by having a couple lines. We also had several people for parts and an overabundance of super hero action figures in addition to the Barbies, Kens and Billy's.
---------------
Her husband, a fireman, was all for it. They had purchased a boat and planned to take guests around the lake "tubing".
For the weekend Dave invited all of his buddies & their wives. Yvonne invited her family and friends. Yes the Midtown guys came up from the big city.We had a really fun party.
And I had something up my sleeve.
A couple weeks before I asked Yvonne to tell me how she and Dave met. I thought if I could write something with more truth to it than lies I might also get them to teach their friends a little more about them. It's really a wonderful story, and I'm glad I got it on paper---as crazy as it reads.
As a special treat, I wrote a play for all of us to "roast" the happy couple.
This was a big surprise for Yvonne and Dave! We passed-out dolls and made them act as themselves in front of the crowd of friends.
One of the other surprises was that we gave her a "Fireman Billy" doll which, well...you'll have to look that one up on the Internet.
Keep in mind we wanted their friends to participate by having a couple lines. We also had several people for parts and an overabundance of super hero action figures in addition to the Barbies, Kens and Billy's.
---------------
Hearts Aflame
Love away from the Fire House
By Ray Macon
Cast: 2 women, 7 men. (4 major roles of 2 males & 2 females).
NARRATOR
Some of you know Dave.
And some of you know Yvonne.
But do you know the story of how Dave and Yvonne met?
Well, once upon a time there was this beautiful young Georgia Girl who came to Michigan to get an apartment. She met a Leasing Agent and found some places she really liked…and could afford!
YVONNE
Wow, what a lovely apartment. Is this real balsa wood? I love the Formica counter tops.
LEASING AGENT
Why yes, (((whispered loudly)))circa 1980.
(((SPIDERMAN wanders on to stage)))
SPIDERMAN
Excuse me; is this the set of Spiderman 3?
LEASING AGENT
No. The set for “Spiderman 3-The Garden of Good and Evil- Devil Went down to Georgia” is across the lake.
SPIDERMAN
What’s this, then?
LEASING AGENT
A play called “Hearts Aflame---Love Away from the Fire House”.
YVONNE
Oh, it’s a story about me, Me, ME!
LEASING AGENT
Will you please excuse us; I’m trying to rent an apartment here.
(((SPIDERMAN leaves stage)))
LEASING AGENT
Now, the carpet in this apartment is just 5 years old.
NARRATOR
To make a long story short, Miss Yvonne takes a tour of other apartments, and sees Dave Dwyer, the Michigan Maintenance Man.
DAVE
Why hello there. I’m Dave the Michigan Maintenance Man, and I’m bending over fixing somethin’ so you can see my tight butt.
YVONNE
Well it’s working. I’m Yvonne. I’m from Georgia.
DAVE
That makes you a peach.
YVONNE
No one has ever seen a peach in Georgia. I’ve moved to Michigan so I can get my own apartment.
DAVE
Well, if you take this apartment Miss Yvonne, you’ll never have to worry about things being broken.
(((SILVER SURFER wanders on to stage)))
SILVER SURFER
I’m here to help Spidey rid the world of those ruthless aliens!
(((S.S. makes a move towards Dave, who punches him in the face)))
DAVE
I’ll kick yer ass!
YVONNE
No, he thinks…would everyone in the audience help me? Every time a super hero, uh---other than you Dave---comes out here please help me tell them “The set for Spiderman 3 is across the lake.”
On three…1-2-3
YVONNE, CAST & AUDIENCE
“The Set for Spiderman 3 is across the lake.”
SILVER SURFER
Sorry about that.
(((Silver Surfer wanders off stage)))
DAVE
Now as I was saying…Miss Yvonne, if you take this apartment I’ll keep an eye on you.
YVONNE
Thanks Dave…I have so much to think about.
NARRATOR
Meanwhile, Yvonne goes back to her old place to decide.
YVONNE
Decisions, decisions…I’m so tired. I’m getting sleepy.
NARRATOR
Cut to: Dream Sequence! Dave the Michigan Maintenance Man is bent-over, fixin somethin’.
DAVE
(((talking very, very slowly)))
Hi Miss Yvonne. Want to come over here and squeeze my arm muscles? They’re called biceps and triceps.
YVONNE
(((talking normally))))
Why are you talking so funny? And---and---being so fresh?
DAVE
(((taking very, very slowly)))
Because this is the Dream Sequence and you’re my Little Peach!
YVONNE
(((waking-up from sleep)))
Oh, my gosh. I must have been dreaming. I was dreaming about that apartment. The 26th one I looked at. Oh, I just can’t get that Maintenance Man out of my head!
NARRATOR
Yvonne tells her friend Kim the whole story.
KIM
…he’s probably a HO.
YVONNE
Men can’t be HOs.
KIM
Girl, men are HOs. Shall I remind you of all the men who tried to date you and you said no?
There was the Army, the Navy, the Marines…
(((Enter TWO EXTRAS for Spiderman 3)))
EXTRAS
Is this the set for Spiderman 3?
YVONNE
(((to audience)))
On three 1-2-3
The set for Spiderman 3 is across the lake!
EXTRAS
Sorry
(((EXTRAS exit stage)))
KIM
As I was saying, everyone wants to date you…the surfers from Lake Michigan, even the gay guys.
YVONNE
Yes, I’ve always been attracted to happy people. But I have never given my heart away. At least---not yet!
KIM
Oh, he will come along.
YVONNE
But---this Michigan Maintenance Man, he’s such a Hottie.
KIM
Girl, let’s go get the apartment so you will shut up.
NARRATOR
Meanwhile, Michigan Maintenance Man Dave tries to find out more information about Miss Yvonne.
LEASING AGENT
Hi Dave.
DAVE
Hi Leasing Agent.
LEASING AGENT
What are you reading?
DAVE
The VISITING FIREMAN. It’s an annual publication of Fire Service Enthusiasts from across the world who all share a common interest in the Fire Service.
LEASING AGENT
(((yawning)))
Uh huh.
DAVE
I’m studying to be a Fireman.
LEASING AGENT
Oh, I see.
DAVE
Look, I can’t stop thinking about Miss Yvonne. If that Georgia Girl comes back, would you at least come and get me? Is she going to take the apartment?
LEASING AGENT
I don’t know. She’s coming by this afternoon. This gives me an idea. I can’t wait to rent that dump---I mean---that apartment. Will you swing by the office? You might just be the key in renting the place!
NARRATOR
So that afternoon, Miss Yvonne comes back to sign the lease. She brings along her friend Kim.
YVONNE
Hello Leasing Agent. This is my friend Kim.
LEASING AGENT
Welcome. I’m sure you remember Dave, the Maintenance Man.
DAVE
Hi Kim. Hello there Miss Yvonne.
YVONNE
You’re talking normal.
DAVE
Hmmm?
YVONNE
Nothing. I have the punch list for the apartment. The only thing wrong is the holder for the toilet tissue roll.
LEASING AGENT
Oh yes?
YVONNE
Yes.
KIM
(((yelling/angry)))
I told her not to take the apartment if the toilet tissue roll holder is not fixed immediately!
DAVE
Oh, I can come up right now and fix it. Anything for you Miss Yvonne.
(((EVIL DOER enters stage)))
EVIL DOER
I’m here from Omicron 3 to rid the Universe of Spiderman and Do Gooders everywhere!
EVERYONE
The set for Spiderman 3 is across the lake!
NARRATOR
And that is the true story of how Miss Yvonne met Maintenance Man Dave. They moved back to Georgia, the Land without Peaches and you know the rest. Yvonne got her own superhero---Dave became a fireman. They got married and Yvonne at least got a job on Peachtree Street.
YVONNE
I just love my Fireman Dave.
DAVE
I love you too Miss Yvonne. Happy Birthday.
NARRATOR
The end!
By Ray Macon
Cast: 2 women, 7 men. (4 major roles of 2 males & 2 females).
NARRATOR
Some of you know Dave.
And some of you know Yvonne.
But do you know the story of how Dave and Yvonne met?
Well, once upon a time there was this beautiful young Georgia Girl who came to Michigan to get an apartment. She met a Leasing Agent and found some places she really liked…and could afford!
YVONNE
Wow, what a lovely apartment. Is this real balsa wood? I love the Formica counter tops.
LEASING AGENT
Why yes, (((whispered loudly)))circa 1980.
(((SPIDERMAN wanders on to stage)))
SPIDERMAN
Excuse me; is this the set of Spiderman 3?
LEASING AGENT
No. The set for “Spiderman 3-The Garden of Good and Evil- Devil Went down to Georgia” is across the lake.
SPIDERMAN
What’s this, then?
LEASING AGENT
A play called “Hearts Aflame---Love Away from the Fire House”.
YVONNE
Oh, it’s a story about me, Me, ME!
LEASING AGENT
Will you please excuse us; I’m trying to rent an apartment here.
(((SPIDERMAN leaves stage)))
LEASING AGENT
Now, the carpet in this apartment is just 5 years old.
NARRATOR
To make a long story short, Miss Yvonne takes a tour of other apartments, and sees Dave Dwyer, the Michigan Maintenance Man.
DAVE
Why hello there. I’m Dave the Michigan Maintenance Man, and I’m bending over fixing somethin’ so you can see my tight butt.
YVONNE
Well it’s working. I’m Yvonne. I’m from Georgia.
DAVE
That makes you a peach.
YVONNE
No one has ever seen a peach in Georgia. I’ve moved to Michigan so I can get my own apartment.
DAVE
Well, if you take this apartment Miss Yvonne, you’ll never have to worry about things being broken.
(((SILVER SURFER wanders on to stage)))
SILVER SURFER
I’m here to help Spidey rid the world of those ruthless aliens!
(((S.S. makes a move towards Dave, who punches him in the face)))
DAVE
I’ll kick yer ass!
YVONNE
No, he thinks…would everyone in the audience help me? Every time a super hero, uh---other than you Dave---comes out here please help me tell them “The set for Spiderman 3 is across the lake.”
On three…1-2-3
YVONNE, CAST & AUDIENCE
“The Set for Spiderman 3 is across the lake.”
SILVER SURFER
Sorry about that.
(((Silver Surfer wanders off stage)))
DAVE
Now as I was saying…Miss Yvonne, if you take this apartment I’ll keep an eye on you.
YVONNE
Thanks Dave…I have so much to think about.
NARRATOR
Meanwhile, Yvonne goes back to her old place to decide.
YVONNE
Decisions, decisions…I’m so tired. I’m getting sleepy.
NARRATOR
Cut to: Dream Sequence! Dave the Michigan Maintenance Man is bent-over, fixin somethin’.
DAVE
(((talking very, very slowly)))
Hi Miss Yvonne. Want to come over here and squeeze my arm muscles? They’re called biceps and triceps.
YVONNE
(((talking normally))))
Why are you talking so funny? And---and---being so fresh?
DAVE
(((taking very, very slowly)))
Because this is the Dream Sequence and you’re my Little Peach!
YVONNE
(((waking-up from sleep)))
Oh, my gosh. I must have been dreaming. I was dreaming about that apartment. The 26th one I looked at. Oh, I just can’t get that Maintenance Man out of my head!
NARRATOR
Yvonne tells her friend Kim the whole story.
KIM
…he’s probably a HO.
YVONNE
Men can’t be HOs.
KIM
Girl, men are HOs. Shall I remind you of all the men who tried to date you and you said no?
There was the Army, the Navy, the Marines…
(((Enter TWO EXTRAS for Spiderman 3)))
EXTRAS
Is this the set for Spiderman 3?
YVONNE
(((to audience)))
On three 1-2-3
The set for Spiderman 3 is across the lake!
EXTRAS
Sorry
(((EXTRAS exit stage)))
KIM
As I was saying, everyone wants to date you…the surfers from Lake Michigan, even the gay guys.
YVONNE
Yes, I’ve always been attracted to happy people. But I have never given my heart away. At least---not yet!
KIM
Oh, he will come along.
YVONNE
But---this Michigan Maintenance Man, he’s such a Hottie.
KIM
Girl, let’s go get the apartment so you will shut up.
NARRATOR
Meanwhile, Michigan Maintenance Man Dave tries to find out more information about Miss Yvonne.
LEASING AGENT
Hi Dave.
DAVE
Hi Leasing Agent.
LEASING AGENT
What are you reading?
DAVE
The VISITING FIREMAN. It’s an annual publication of Fire Service Enthusiasts from across the world who all share a common interest in the Fire Service.
LEASING AGENT
(((yawning)))
Uh huh.
DAVE
I’m studying to be a Fireman.
LEASING AGENT
Oh, I see.
DAVE
Look, I can’t stop thinking about Miss Yvonne. If that Georgia Girl comes back, would you at least come and get me? Is she going to take the apartment?
LEASING AGENT
I don’t know. She’s coming by this afternoon. This gives me an idea. I can’t wait to rent that dump---I mean---that apartment. Will you swing by the office? You might just be the key in renting the place!
NARRATOR
So that afternoon, Miss Yvonne comes back to sign the lease. She brings along her friend Kim.
YVONNE
Hello Leasing Agent. This is my friend Kim.
LEASING AGENT
Welcome. I’m sure you remember Dave, the Maintenance Man.
DAVE
Hi Kim. Hello there Miss Yvonne.
YVONNE
You’re talking normal.
DAVE
Hmmm?
YVONNE
Nothing. I have the punch list for the apartment. The only thing wrong is the holder for the toilet tissue roll.
LEASING AGENT
Oh yes?
YVONNE
Yes.
KIM
(((yelling/angry)))
I told her not to take the apartment if the toilet tissue roll holder is not fixed immediately!
DAVE
Oh, I can come up right now and fix it. Anything for you Miss Yvonne.
(((EVIL DOER enters stage)))
EVIL DOER
I’m here from Omicron 3 to rid the Universe of Spiderman and Do Gooders everywhere!
EVERYONE
The set for Spiderman 3 is across the lake!
NARRATOR
And that is the true story of how Miss Yvonne met Maintenance Man Dave. They moved back to Georgia, the Land without Peaches and you know the rest. Yvonne got her own superhero---Dave became a fireman. They got married and Yvonne at least got a job on Peachtree Street.
YVONNE
I just love my Fireman Dave.
DAVE
I love you too Miss Yvonne. Happy Birthday.
NARRATOR
The end!
Create an Outline: Raise My Town My Love
Hollis, Oklahoma.
Present Day
Story begins with a Policeman and an accident; where four adults are killed. None of the adults are wearing belts. One baby survives.
In the second chapter we see Policeman David drawing with a piece of charcoal--- while on duty. He's drawn the baby seat from the accident site! An old man interrupts his silence and David follows the old man, a local crazy, back to the man's home.
Q: Why write it this way?
Two juxtaposing situations back-to-back early-on creates empathy and eventual trust for our protagonist, David.
He witnesses something horrible that could have been prevented. As the first on the scene David saves one life, a baby.
In the second scene we witness David's otherwise boring life as a policeman and general good guy.
Might as well go ahead and give him up to the forces of evil: He's one of those---he helps the elderly.
Yet we must suspect David's going to be wounded by this opening scene nonetheless.
Tip: Visualize entire scene from top to bottom. You've already began taking infant steps toward the story. What happens second by second?
If I am driving down a road and start to dodge objects in the road, the road is certainly opening a story for me, ...just ahead?
Present Day
Story begins with a Policeman and an accident; where four adults are killed. None of the adults are wearing belts. One baby survives.
In the second chapter we see Policeman David drawing with a piece of charcoal--- while on duty. He's drawn the baby seat from the accident site! An old man interrupts his silence and David follows the old man, a local crazy, back to the man's home.
Q: Why write it this way?
Two juxtaposing situations back-to-back early-on creates empathy and eventual trust for our protagonist, David.
He witnesses something horrible that could have been prevented. As the first on the scene David saves one life, a baby.
In the second scene we witness David's otherwise boring life as a policeman and general good guy.
Might as well go ahead and give him up to the forces of evil: He's one of those---he helps the elderly.
Yet we must suspect David's going to be wounded by this opening scene nonetheless.
Tip: Visualize entire scene from top to bottom. You've already began taking infant steps toward the story. What happens second by second?
If I am driving down a road and start to dodge objects in the road, the road is certainly opening a story for me, ...just ahead?
Monday, January 22, 2007
Russian Ads for Niche Market
This week I have set a goal to help a colleague produce some advertising collateral to sell legal services to Russian speaking clients.
Thankfully he provided me with copy, which brings a terrific point: sometimes, when you don't know the language of the ad but it is handed to you, remember---if it's the last thing you do---check it. I'm looking for a person who speaks Russian so I can check my own ad!
In the photo: A woman holding a paint roller has painted the floor and ceiling red, pink and mauve. She stands facing the corner, with a few still unpainted steps behind her...
I started with a humorist approach (still attempting to load picture, sorry) to which he had a general freakout. "...I told you I started in Left Field," I said. "She's painted herself into a corner, and has legal needs. Great colors of red."
The colleague shook his head 'no'.
"Well, it's okay. I have more ideas, I like the color red. Everything we normally feature is navy blue." I walked away mumbling"...she's painted herself into a corner and so have I".
As the hour progressed the ad got more conservative. It's funny how the more conservative it gets, the more the ad screams for---at least---some sort of irony.
If I can't have gut wrenching humor God give me irony.
I will publish this interesting creative process by steps later in the week.
Thankfully he provided me with copy, which brings a terrific point: sometimes, when you don't know the language of the ad but it is handed to you, remember---if it's the last thing you do---check it. I'm looking for a person who speaks Russian so I can check my own ad!
In the photo: A woman holding a paint roller has painted the floor and ceiling red, pink and mauve. She stands facing the corner, with a few still unpainted steps behind her...
I started with a humorist approach (still attempting to load picture, sorry) to which he had a general freakout. "...I told you I started in Left Field," I said. "She's painted herself into a corner, and has legal needs. Great colors of red."
The colleague shook his head 'no'.
"Well, it's okay. I have more ideas, I like the color red. Everything we normally feature is navy blue." I walked away mumbling"...she's painted herself into a corner and so have I".
As the hour progressed the ad got more conservative. It's funny how the more conservative it gets, the more the ad screams for---at least---some sort of irony.
If I can't have gut wrenching humor God give me irony.
I will publish this interesting creative process by steps later in the week.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Examples of "Legalese" or "Legislative Writing"
Q: Have you ever done any formal writing for Associations or Organizations which required a specific "tone" or authoritative stance on behalf of the Organization's Bi-Laws or Mission Statement?
Yes. I once had the privilege of serving as the Parliamentarian of a sports club for three years.
Luckily, the national director of the Organization was local and I could ask him advice. He told me "...an Organization's Constitution should stand the test of time and not be frequently changed."
To that end, we went over our local sports organization's documents with a sifter.
We pulled-out any dated materials, references to anything which would be seen as making it old "...if your check bounces..." (I mean who writes a check these days anyway).
Whereas I was not the only writer of the document, I was a major writer and influence on making sure it didn't have to be changed for the next 10 seasons. I am happy to say that it hasn't had more than a few word changes in the past 4 years. That document can be seen here: http://www.hotlantasoftball.org/constitution.php
One of the things I am most proud of is the legalese writing I had to do for that same Organization's Rules of Play.
"...One thing is guaranteed when men get together for sports," the Commissioner said to me on the first week of the volunteer job, "...winning is their only purpose. Given the chance to cheat so they can win, they will look for every possible way to take a short cut to that trophy. Rules exist because men cheat."
In this particular club the male species had to be rated so to keep the better players from wiping out all of the teeth and various hambones of their opponents. It's probably the only sports club in America whose rule of ratings was created-by a drag queen!*
The problem had been that the Executive Council could never get any work done because of the number of ratings meetings they were having to attend!
So the Commissioner tried a "Jury of Peers" approach to solve some bitch fights after the season ended.
Over the winter I wrote the following: legalese we added to the Rules of Play documents, which would in itself "legitimize the Jury of Peers" to keep anyone in their sports club from complaining they didn't get a fair shot or have options.
SECTION 14. JUDICIARY HEARINGS COMMITTEE
A.At the HSL Annual Spring Meeting, the Open Division Council will nominate and vote on a chairman to serve as head of a Judiciary Hearings Committee (JHC).B.This Chairman will preside over a "jury of peers" determined by the Open Division Council which will listen, debate, and decide on requests for ratings reductions and protests. C.The Open Division Council will nominate and then vote to determine two (2) Open Division HSL Members from each division of play and three (3) at-large alternates during the Annual Spring Meeting. Each of these Division Representatives will have one vote during JHC meetings, creating 8 available votes. (Quorum=5 voting members, not including Chairman).D.The Chairman will preside and keep professional order during JHC meetings, but will not vote, unless there is a tie. In the event that the Chairman cannot preside or attend a meeting, a Chairman Pro-Temp from the members of the JHC (including Alternates) may be assigned to act in his absence by the Chairman.E.The Chairman will call a meeting of the JHC and notify the JHC Representatives, the representatives of the team(s) involved in the protest or ratings reduction request at least five (5) days before the meeting as to the date, time, place, and reason for the meeting, including allegations.F.The Chairman will preside over the meeting. In the case of a game protest, a representative of the team filing the protest will present the case for the protest. The team representative of the team being protested will then respond. There will be a maximum of thirty (30) minutes allowed for questions and comments from the JHC. The team representatives will then leave the room for a maximum of thirty (30) minutes to allow for discussion by the JHC. At the end of the discussion by the JHC, the Representatives will vote by secret ballot to decide whether the game protest is upheld or invalid. In the case of a ratings reduction request, a similar hearing process will take place with the exception that there typically will be no presentation against the ratings reduction request. The JHC at its discretion may allow the presentation of evidence against the ratings reduction request.G.A game protest will be upheld if 75% or more of the JHC representatives voting concur with the protest. A ratings reduction request will be granted if a majority of the JHC representative voting concur with the request. In the event of an upheld protest, the effect will be in accordance with ASA rules. H.At the end of the vote tabulation by the Chairman, the Chairman will assemble all persons involved and the decision of the JHC will be presented. I.Once the JHC has reached a decision the decision WILL BE FINAL; unless convincing new evidence is presented within three (3) days of JHC ruling, which would be appealed to the Open Division Executive Council. J.Any person or team who becomes ineligible for play within a division as a result of a JHC decision will remain so until they successfully appeal the JHC decision to the Open Division Executive Council.
*Atlanta Actor and HSL Member Jim Marks. It is estimated that under Marks's direction of the NAGAAA in the 1990s, more than 2 million conversations have since been spawned (and several thousands fights) because of ratings disagreements. However painful it was to endure the original implementation of this system, and until this day---very few people think it's a bad idea!
Yes. I once had the privilege of serving as the Parliamentarian of a sports club for three years.
Luckily, the national director of the Organization was local and I could ask him advice. He told me "...an Organization's Constitution should stand the test of time and not be frequently changed."
To that end, we went over our local sports organization's documents with a sifter.
We pulled-out any dated materials, references to anything which would be seen as making it old "...if your check bounces..." (I mean who writes a check these days anyway).
Whereas I was not the only writer of the document, I was a major writer and influence on making sure it didn't have to be changed for the next 10 seasons. I am happy to say that it hasn't had more than a few word changes in the past 4 years. That document can be seen here: http://www.hotlantasoftball.org/constitution.php
One of the things I am most proud of is the legalese writing I had to do for that same Organization's Rules of Play.
"...One thing is guaranteed when men get together for sports," the Commissioner said to me on the first week of the volunteer job, "...winning is their only purpose. Given the chance to cheat so they can win, they will look for every possible way to take a short cut to that trophy. Rules exist because men cheat."
In this particular club the male species had to be rated so to keep the better players from wiping out all of the teeth and various hambones of their opponents. It's probably the only sports club in America whose rule of ratings was created-by a drag queen!*
The problem had been that the Executive Council could never get any work done because of the number of ratings meetings they were having to attend!
So the Commissioner tried a "Jury of Peers" approach to solve some bitch fights after the season ended.
Over the winter I wrote the following: legalese we added to the Rules of Play documents, which would in itself "legitimize the Jury of Peers" to keep anyone in their sports club from complaining they didn't get a fair shot or have options.
SECTION 14. JUDICIARY HEARINGS COMMITTEE
A.At the HSL Annual Spring Meeting, the Open Division Council will nominate and vote on a chairman to serve as head of a Judiciary Hearings Committee (JHC).B.This Chairman will preside over a "jury of peers" determined by the Open Division Council which will listen, debate, and decide on requests for ratings reductions and protests. C.The Open Division Council will nominate and then vote to determine two (2) Open Division HSL Members from each division of play and three (3) at-large alternates during the Annual Spring Meeting. Each of these Division Representatives will have one vote during JHC meetings, creating 8 available votes. (Quorum=5 voting members, not including Chairman).D.The Chairman will preside and keep professional order during JHC meetings, but will not vote, unless there is a tie. In the event that the Chairman cannot preside or attend a meeting, a Chairman Pro-Temp from the members of the JHC (including Alternates) may be assigned to act in his absence by the Chairman.E.The Chairman will call a meeting of the JHC and notify the JHC Representatives, the representatives of the team(s) involved in the protest or ratings reduction request at least five (5) days before the meeting as to the date, time, place, and reason for the meeting, including allegations.F.The Chairman will preside over the meeting. In the case of a game protest, a representative of the team filing the protest will present the case for the protest. The team representative of the team being protested will then respond. There will be a maximum of thirty (30) minutes allowed for questions and comments from the JHC. The team representatives will then leave the room for a maximum of thirty (30) minutes to allow for discussion by the JHC. At the end of the discussion by the JHC, the Representatives will vote by secret ballot to decide whether the game protest is upheld or invalid. In the case of a ratings reduction request, a similar hearing process will take place with the exception that there typically will be no presentation against the ratings reduction request. The JHC at its discretion may allow the presentation of evidence against the ratings reduction request.G.A game protest will be upheld if 75% or more of the JHC representatives voting concur with the protest. A ratings reduction request will be granted if a majority of the JHC representative voting concur with the request. In the event of an upheld protest, the effect will be in accordance with ASA rules. H.At the end of the vote tabulation by the Chairman, the Chairman will assemble all persons involved and the decision of the JHC will be presented. I.Once the JHC has reached a decision the decision WILL BE FINAL; unless convincing new evidence is presented within three (3) days of JHC ruling, which would be appealed to the Open Division Executive Council. J.Any person or team who becomes ineligible for play within a division as a result of a JHC decision will remain so until they successfully appeal the JHC decision to the Open Division Executive Council.
*Atlanta Actor and HSL Member Jim Marks. It is estimated that under Marks's direction of the NAGAAA in the 1990s, more than 2 million conversations have since been spawned (and several thousands fights) because of ratings disagreements. However painful it was to endure the original implementation of this system, and until this day---very few people think it's a bad idea!
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