Her husband, a fireman, was all for it. They had purchased a boat and planned to take guests around the lake "tubing".
For the weekend Dave invited all of his buddies & their wives. Yvonne invited her family and friends. Yes the Midtown guys came up from the big city.We had a really fun party.
And I had something up my sleeve.
A couple weeks before I asked Yvonne to tell me how she and Dave met. I thought if I could write something with more truth to it than lies I might also get them to teach their friends a little more about them. It's really a wonderful story, and I'm glad I got it on paper---as crazy as it reads.
As a special treat, I wrote a play for all of us to "roast" the happy couple.
This was a big surprise for Yvonne and Dave! We passed-out dolls and made them act as themselves in front of the crowd of friends.
One of the other surprises was that we gave her a "Fireman Billy" doll which, well...you'll have to look that one up on the Internet.
Keep in mind we wanted their friends to participate by having a couple lines. We also had several people for parts and an overabundance of super hero action figures in addition to the Barbies, Kens and Billy's.
---------------
By Ray Macon
Cast: 2 women, 7 men. (4 major roles of 2 males & 2 females).
NARRATOR
Some of you know Dave.
And some of you know Yvonne.
But do you know the story of how Dave and Yvonne met?
Well, once upon a time there was this beautiful young Georgia Girl who came to Michigan to get an apartment. She met a Leasing Agent and found some places she really liked…and could afford!
YVONNE
Wow, what a lovely apartment. Is this real balsa wood? I love the Formica counter tops.
LEASING AGENT
Why yes, (((whispered loudly)))circa 1980.
(((SPIDERMAN wanders on to stage)))
SPIDERMAN
Excuse me; is this the set of Spiderman 3?
LEASING AGENT
No. The set for “Spiderman 3-The Garden of Good and Evil- Devil Went down to Georgia” is across the lake.
SPIDERMAN
What’s this, then?
LEASING AGENT
A play called “Hearts Aflame---Love Away from the Fire House”.
YVONNE
Oh, it’s a story about me, Me, ME!
LEASING AGENT
Will you please excuse us; I’m trying to rent an apartment here.
(((SPIDERMAN leaves stage)))
LEASING AGENT
Now, the carpet in this apartment is just 5 years old.
NARRATOR
To make a long story short, Miss Yvonne takes a tour of other apartments, and sees Dave Dwyer, the Michigan Maintenance Man.
DAVE
Why hello there. I’m Dave the Michigan Maintenance Man, and I’m bending over fixing somethin’ so you can see my tight butt.
YVONNE
Well it’s working. I’m Yvonne. I’m from Georgia.
DAVE
That makes you a peach.
YVONNE
No one has ever seen a peach in Georgia. I’ve moved to Michigan so I can get my own apartment.
DAVE
Well, if you take this apartment Miss Yvonne, you’ll never have to worry about things being broken.
(((SILVER SURFER wanders on to stage)))
SILVER SURFER
I’m here to help Spidey rid the world of those ruthless aliens!
(((S.S. makes a move towards Dave, who punches him in the face)))
DAVE
I’ll kick yer ass!
YVONNE
No, he thinks…would everyone in the audience help me? Every time a super hero, uh---other than you Dave---comes out here please help me tell them “The set for Spiderman 3 is across the lake.”
On three…1-2-3
YVONNE, CAST & AUDIENCE
“The Set for Spiderman 3 is across the lake.”
SILVER SURFER
Sorry about that.
(((Silver Surfer wanders off stage)))
DAVE
Now as I was saying…Miss Yvonne, if you take this apartment I’ll keep an eye on you.
YVONNE
Thanks Dave…I have so much to think about.
NARRATOR
Meanwhile, Yvonne goes back to her old place to decide.
YVONNE
Decisions, decisions…I’m so tired. I’m getting sleepy.
NARRATOR
Cut to: Dream Sequence! Dave the Michigan Maintenance Man is bent-over, fixin somethin’.
DAVE
(((talking very, very slowly)))
Hi Miss Yvonne. Want to come over here and squeeze my arm muscles? They’re called biceps and triceps.
YVONNE
(((talking normally))))
Why are you talking so funny? And---and---being so fresh?
DAVE
(((taking very, very slowly)))
Because this is the Dream Sequence and you’re my Little Peach!
YVONNE
(((waking-up from sleep)))
Oh, my gosh. I must have been dreaming. I was dreaming about that apartment. The 26th one I looked at. Oh, I just can’t get that Maintenance Man out of my head!
NARRATOR
Yvonne tells her friend Kim the whole story.
KIM
…he’s probably a HO.
YVONNE
Men can’t be HOs.
KIM
Girl, men are HOs. Shall I remind you of all the men who tried to date you and you said no?
There was the Army, the Navy, the Marines…
(((Enter TWO EXTRAS for Spiderman 3)))
EXTRAS
Is this the set for Spiderman 3?
YVONNE
(((to audience)))
On three 1-2-3
The set for Spiderman 3 is across the lake!
EXTRAS
Sorry
(((EXTRAS exit stage)))
KIM
As I was saying, everyone wants to date you…the surfers from Lake Michigan, even the gay guys.
YVONNE
Yes, I’ve always been attracted to happy people. But I have never given my heart away. At least---not yet!
KIM
Oh, he will come along.
YVONNE
But---this Michigan Maintenance Man, he’s such a Hottie.
KIM
Girl, let’s go get the apartment so you will shut up.
NARRATOR
Meanwhile, Michigan Maintenance Man Dave tries to find out more information about Miss Yvonne.
LEASING AGENT
Hi Dave.
DAVE
Hi Leasing Agent.
LEASING AGENT
What are you reading?
DAVE
The VISITING FIREMAN. It’s an annual publication of Fire Service Enthusiasts from across the world who all share a common interest in the Fire Service.
LEASING AGENT
(((yawning)))
Uh huh.
DAVE
I’m studying to be a Fireman.
LEASING AGENT
Oh, I see.
DAVE
Look, I can’t stop thinking about Miss Yvonne. If that Georgia Girl comes back, would you at least come and get me? Is she going to take the apartment?
LEASING AGENT
I don’t know. She’s coming by this afternoon. This gives me an idea. I can’t wait to rent that dump---I mean---that apartment. Will you swing by the office? You might just be the key in renting the place!
NARRATOR
So that afternoon, Miss Yvonne comes back to sign the lease. She brings along her friend Kim.
YVONNE
Hello Leasing Agent. This is my friend Kim.
LEASING AGENT
Welcome. I’m sure you remember Dave, the Maintenance Man.
DAVE
Hi Kim. Hello there Miss Yvonne.
YVONNE
You’re talking normal.
DAVE
Hmmm?
YVONNE
Nothing. I have the punch list for the apartment. The only thing wrong is the holder for the toilet tissue roll.
LEASING AGENT
Oh yes?
YVONNE
Yes.
KIM
(((yelling/angry)))
I told her not to take the apartment if the toilet tissue roll holder is not fixed immediately!
DAVE
Oh, I can come up right now and fix it. Anything for you Miss Yvonne.
(((EVIL DOER enters stage)))
EVIL DOER
I’m here from Omicron 3 to rid the Universe of Spiderman and Do Gooders everywhere!
EVERYONE
The set for Spiderman 3 is across the lake!
NARRATOR
And that is the true story of how Miss Yvonne met Maintenance Man Dave. They moved back to Georgia, the Land without Peaches and you know the rest. Yvonne got her own superhero---Dave became a fireman. They got married and Yvonne at least got a job on Peachtree Street.
YVONNE
I just love my Fireman Dave.
DAVE
I love you too Miss Yvonne. Happy Birthday.
NARRATOR
The end!