Perhaps you are challenged by the task of having to write a letter to your staff?
Recently I wrote the following letter to our law firm staff.
TIPS:
Be sincere.
Be Precise: Your written "voice" should be reflected in your words, to get your point across.
Mention the "painfully obvious" even though some staff members will not appreciate
it. Remember, if you don't say "Stop" people will keep going. We had parties in the
past where staffers got drunk, acted crazy, or disappeared during clean-up.
------------------------------------------Letter Follows----------------
Good morning All,
One week from today is the PERSILY & ASSOCIATES HOLIDAY PARTY. It is being held at The Four Seasons Building (Thursday, December 20th at 75 14th Street, from 7:30-9:30pm).
This is not a party for US, but a private function for our shared Client Portfolios. We are expecting 80 guests but it would not surprise me to see between 100-150 guests.
Therefore it is mandatory we help each other that evening as we greet our 2008 Persily Family of Business. This means arriving early for set-up and staying until the party ends to help with clean-up. Working as a team, this short party will be easy.
Every staff member is important. We have worked hard in 2007 to build relationships with our customers, and this night we will put a "face" and a smile to our company's reputation for quality. You are a testament to this.
I have included instructions below on how you can help. Thanks again for your hard work and support for marketing.
RRay
--------------
When you arrive: Please arrive by 6:35pm. The party is being held on the 50th floor.
Valet park your car and bring the ticket up to the party with you.
This gives us 55 minutes to go over last minute details. We will have guests arriving early, we always do.
Guests must check-in at a Persily table as they exit the elevator. There will be food areas, a dessert area, and a bar area. These areas will be catered and manned. So you won't have to do much, but help us keep the area clear of trash.
But you will have to "network". College professors call this "social capitalism" but it's basically "making money with your mouth open".
The time for us to chat with each other will come later. Please speak with our guests and "engage" them. People love to talk about themselves! "How's your company? What about this crazy market? Can we help your business somehow?"
These are all conversations business people have daily. Please show a genuine interest though, or do not engage. Nothing is worse than someone asking a question and then not listening to my answer. It gives a poor impression. We want our clients to trust us more and see how much we care for them. Showing this is easy for all of you, I know this. It just needed to be emphasized. Thank you for this.
When guests arrive, Lynn will greet them and make sure they either drop their business card or sign-in with Name, Company, email, & phone. EVERY GUEST SHOULD RECEIVE A GREETING. Folks let's make it different each time. "Hello" "How's it going?" "That's a great coat, welcome" "Long elevator ride to the top, eh?" "How is everybody tonight?" "Did anyone bring me a present?" Make 'em smile. Keep it jovial. All of these comments keep the "general effect" of the party warm from the moment of arrival.
Please dress-up for this event. Consider it a Black Tie Affair. Men are expected to wear suits and ties. Everyone should have their name tag. Bring your own business cards and hand them out. We are a boutique firm and have to work together this night. I would like to see everyone give me a short report the week afterward on who we might pursue for additional business in 2008.
You are my eyes and ears in four rooms next Thursday!
Thanks again for your support.
Ray Macon
Client Relations Manager
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Write a Simple Effective Marketing Letter
I recently received a marketing letter from a good friend whose company specializes in computer cable organization. It's something everyone needs, but is hard to explain to the consumer or business owner that they need it.
His letter follows:
"How would you respond as a buyer to the service of Workstation Cable Organization?
Workstation Cable Organization as a service is the idea that Cable Systems Management, Inc, was founded on.
CSM specializes in the typical mess of cables attached to the PC, or docked laptop, or any other electronic devices creating a maze of cables.
ROI and CBA is spending less with IT professionals tracing cables to the source, creating a more ergonomic workspace by mounting the PC to the underside of the desktop, as well as correct orientation for the user with respect to the workspace."
---------
Now read my response to him:
---------
Hi Pal,
I hope you are well. Again, I apologize for not having my normal schedule flexibility last week so I could meet your beautiful wife.
I want you to succeed. Or I wouldn't give you this piece of light criticism relating to the marketing email from you below:
From a writer's perspective...spell out the acronyms you are presenting. When I read the third paragraph I got lost, and was perplexed at the meanings of the abbreviations because I am outside of your industry (and PC Stupid!).
Like I said I want you to make a lot of money at this, but to most people, it's something they only notice if the computer is NOT working.
Use this formula when sending marketing letters.
1.Present problem---2. offer a testimonial---3.then present your product---4.then your product facts.
Using that order, it's easier to build marketing sentences.
Example: "You innocently put your feet under the desk daily, but where are your toes resting? On the cables? The conduits carrying electricity to your computer are not foot rests. "I shocked myself one day," says Mable Ragsdale of Atlanta, "...my employer had to call the ambulance and check my heart." Then her employer came looking for us---a company which will eliminate the problem and the insurance concerns later. Our company specializes in the typical mess of cables attached to the PC, or docked laptop, or any other electronic devices creating a maze of cables...." etc.
On my blog, I give examples of "How to Write a..." offering advice on everything from Writing a Glowing Reference to how to write a professional letter with a "fuck you" impact (yes, we have to fire the clients who don't pay, right?)
Buddies for Life,
Rayray
Don't fear the Writing Process: http://www.raisemytownmylove.blogspot.com/
His letter follows:
"How would you respond as a buyer to the service of Workstation Cable Organization?
Workstation Cable Organization as a service is the idea that Cable Systems Management, Inc, was founded on.
CSM specializes in the typical mess of cables attached to the PC, or docked laptop, or any other electronic devices creating a maze of cables.
ROI and CBA is spending less with IT professionals tracing cables to the source, creating a more ergonomic workspace by mounting the PC to the underside of the desktop, as well as correct orientation for the user with respect to the workspace."
---------
Now read my response to him:
---------
Hi Pal,
I hope you are well. Again, I apologize for not having my normal schedule flexibility last week so I could meet your beautiful wife.
I want you to succeed. Or I wouldn't give you this piece of light criticism relating to the marketing email from you below:
From a writer's perspective...spell out the acronyms you are presenting. When I read the third paragraph I got lost, and was perplexed at the meanings of the abbreviations because I am outside of your industry (and PC Stupid!).
Like I said I want you to make a lot of money at this, but to most people, it's something they only notice if the computer is NOT working.
Use this formula when sending marketing letters.
1.Present problem---2. offer a testimonial---3.then present your product---4.then your product facts.
Using that order, it's easier to build marketing sentences.
Example: "You innocently put your feet under the desk daily, but where are your toes resting? On the cables? The conduits carrying electricity to your computer are not foot rests. "I shocked myself one day," says Mable Ragsdale of Atlanta, "...my employer had to call the ambulance and check my heart." Then her employer came looking for us---a company which will eliminate the problem and the insurance concerns later. Our company specializes in the typical mess of cables attached to the PC, or docked laptop, or any other electronic devices creating a maze of cables...." etc.
On my blog, I give examples of "How to Write a..." offering advice on everything from Writing a Glowing Reference to how to write a professional letter with a "fuck you" impact (yes, we have to fire the clients who don't pay, right?)
Buddies for Life,
Rayray
Don't fear the Writing Process: http://www.raisemytownmylove.blogspot.com/
Monday, June 25, 2007
Throw a Company Party: the Persily VIP Pavilion
Last week we were working to complete our design for a corporate party, the Persily VIP Pride Pavilion along the Parade Route.
It was pretty--- and turned-out well as you will see in the photographs (coming next post).
Our company owner rented a beautiful and classy restaurant---Silk, on Peachtree.
His plan was to use the space for a lovely Pride gift to his friends and clients.
My intern Jessica Studstill and I went to work on the design and event plans.
The company colors are navy blue, silver & white...which made a tasteful color palette.
We worked for a week on the contents of the invitation. The design called for an olde-world "ticket" which we used with a "Broadway" font. I used the cutting board to make each ticket, and a directions for parking card as well.
Three weeks before the party, with invitations mailed, we had a guarantee of 250 people to give the restaurant..
We had to order banners (2 x 12 feet) and spec the site for the auto poles we would use to hang the banners.
Blowing balloons is fun, and obnoxious depending on how you hold the balloon filler nipple!
To get around the cost of glass bowls for centerpieces we chose navy & silver to-go rice paper containers. We then added contrasting papers, the Persily Ferris Wheel ad, blow horns, hats, rings, and 3-4 balloons.
We bought various hats, like police, fire, construction, pirate, and top hats. Women wanted the visors and princess hats.
I wore different hats throughout and saw others doing the same. It's the cost of promoting your own party maybe!
By the time it was over we had clients walking around the place as the Village People! What a fun afternoon!
Here's some tips for throwing your own chic affair.
1. Always secure venue FIRST.
2.Ask for extras BEFORE a contract* is determined with the venue.
3.Create two Excel spreadsheets: TO DO LIST and INVITE lists.
4.Make sure everyone's address is listed in your Outlook Contacts.
5.Merge list of contacts from INVITE list and print address labels.
6.TO DO LIST should list responsibilities for staff. Post for everyone to see duties.
7. Encourage creativity during the entire process. Know when to stop.
8. A dab of this, a dab of that...gives the illusion of more. Get some kid toys for adults.
9.Something's missing rule: How important is the item? Can you do without it? Minutes before the party remember to Let it Go.
10. Make sure the event is staffed. This will help you to relax and enjoy marketing to your invited guests for future business.
*An insurance rider is required for most venue rentals. Especially during charity events. See if someone can sponsor this cost. In our company's case, the insurance waiver was covered by our owner.
It was pretty--- and turned-out well as you will see in the photographs (coming next post).
Our company owner rented a beautiful and classy restaurant---Silk, on Peachtree.
His plan was to use the space for a lovely Pride gift to his friends and clients.
My intern Jessica Studstill and I went to work on the design and event plans.
The company colors are navy blue, silver & white...which made a tasteful color palette.
We worked for a week on the contents of the invitation. The design called for an olde-world "ticket" which we used with a "Broadway" font. I used the cutting board to make each ticket, and a directions for parking card as well.
Three weeks before the party, with invitations mailed, we had a guarantee of 250 people to give the restaurant..
We had to order banners (2 x 12 feet) and spec the site for the auto poles we would use to hang the banners.
Blowing balloons is fun, and obnoxious depending on how you hold the balloon filler nipple!
To get around the cost of glass bowls for centerpieces we chose navy & silver to-go rice paper containers. We then added contrasting papers, the Persily Ferris Wheel ad, blow horns, hats, rings, and 3-4 balloons.
We bought various hats, like police, fire, construction, pirate, and top hats. Women wanted the visors and princess hats.
I wore different hats throughout and saw others doing the same. It's the cost of promoting your own party maybe!
By the time it was over we had clients walking around the place as the Village People! What a fun afternoon!
Here's some tips for throwing your own chic affair.
1. Always secure venue FIRST.
2.Ask for extras BEFORE a contract* is determined with the venue.
3.Create two Excel spreadsheets: TO DO LIST and INVITE lists.
4.Make sure everyone's address is listed in your Outlook Contacts.
5.Merge list of contacts from INVITE list and print address labels.
6.TO DO LIST should list responsibilities for staff. Post for everyone to see duties.
7. Encourage creativity during the entire process. Know when to stop.
8. A dab of this, a dab of that...gives the illusion of more. Get some kid toys for adults.
9.Something's missing rule: How important is the item? Can you do without it? Minutes before the party remember to Let it Go.
10. Make sure the event is staffed. This will help you to relax and enjoy marketing to your invited guests for future business.
*An insurance rider is required for most venue rentals. Especially during charity events. See if someone can sponsor this cost. In our company's case, the insurance waiver was covered by our owner.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Welcome
This is a blog about writing and a premier writing ideascape. There is information about Leathers & Macon and the projects we have produced on the LEFT. In this column we will present new works of art. Presenting...
More on D.G.L. Concept...
The Dorothy Laboratory Dream
The experiment opens as a crowd gathers outside a club.
From the street it’s any other city place. Except this place is wide and narrow. And is hidden? Clearly it has a couple of foreboding towers reaching into the trees!
A single light shines in the tower above,
The audience gathers on the porch and into the parlor. The place looks like a set from a scary movie.
Tonight’s audience gathers in a beautifully decorated sitting room. It looks like any other funeral parlor. Except for the outline of lights--- which we later realize are bubbling beakers and test tubes. Strange.
This is the famed DOROTHY G. LABORATORY!
Suddenly with great noise and evil laughter---an elevator opens and a Grand Host (“Princess” Charles Kollock) appears!
PRINCESS
Welcome.
Don’t be afraid!
(gets an audience reaction)
I’m your Grand Host!
Welcome
(Says Welcome in many languages)
Our Grand Host interacts with the audience. There are many different gays and lesbians with their opposite counterparts and couples. Jokes are made. A sense of trust is established. Charles recognizes many people in the audience. Straight and gay (which is the general theme of this experiment), each stand in support of each other. The line moves quickly to keep under the sound of the Grand Host’s direction. He finally reclaims his serious composure.
PRINCESS
Let’s proceed to the next level!
Princess laughs an evil rap.
All lights fade. The elevator moves upwards very fast! Then eventually slow to a near stop.
As they go up the elevator, the wall panels reveal a story. Each story is short and lyrical. Our first story asks the audience to worry. (The preferred affect is an eventual build of “bridge of caring” extending to the audience, which all ends in the elevator bathed in RED.
PRINCESS
Red. The color of blood. We all Bleed Red My Darlings. Black to brown to cocoa to Whitey to yellow man and back to red man!
Our experiment starts with this commonality!
RED!
I’ll change and meet you later in the laboratory.
(Laughs)
When the lights come up, PRINCESS is gone!
Suddenly the elevator opens to reveal a seating area.
Scene 1
A Farm
The experiment opens as a crowd gathers outside a club.
From the street it’s any other city place. Except this place is wide and narrow. And is hidden? Clearly it has a couple of foreboding towers reaching into the trees!
A single light shines in the tower above,
The audience gathers on the porch and into the parlor. The place looks like a set from a scary movie.
Tonight’s audience gathers in a beautifully decorated sitting room. It looks like any other funeral parlor. Except for the outline of lights--- which we later realize are bubbling beakers and test tubes. Strange.
This is the famed DOROTHY G. LABORATORY!
Suddenly with great noise and evil laughter---an elevator opens and a Grand Host (“Princess” Charles Kollock) appears!
PRINCESS
Welcome.
Don’t be afraid!
(gets an audience reaction)
I’m your Grand Host!
Welcome
(Says Welcome in many languages)
Our Grand Host interacts with the audience. There are many different gays and lesbians with their opposite counterparts and couples. Jokes are made. A sense of trust is established. Charles recognizes many people in the audience. Straight and gay (which is the general theme of this experiment), each stand in support of each other. The line moves quickly to keep under the sound of the Grand Host’s direction. He finally reclaims his serious composure.
PRINCESS
Let’s proceed to the next level!
Princess laughs an evil rap.
All lights fade. The elevator moves upwards very fast! Then eventually slow to a near stop.
As they go up the elevator, the wall panels reveal a story. Each story is short and lyrical. Our first story asks the audience to worry. (The preferred affect is an eventual build of “bridge of caring” extending to the audience, which all ends in the elevator bathed in RED.
PRINCESS
Red. The color of blood. We all Bleed Red My Darlings. Black to brown to cocoa to Whitey to yellow man and back to red man!
Our experiment starts with this commonality!
RED!
I’ll change and meet you later in the laboratory.
(Laughs)
When the lights come up, PRINCESS is gone!
Suddenly the elevator opens to reveal a seating area.
Scene 1
A Farm
The next scenes are told as if “Music Videos” with corny fonts in the corners.
SCENE 1 The Disturbance at the Farm
Produced by Leathers-Macon
Staring --------
Costumes/Sets by ---------
Setting: A farm in Oklahoma. The sky is purple green. The few treesWhich are growing are tossed about. A storm is coming.
CHORUS
Crows! They ride the Western Front!There goes…the corn and pumpkin!Damn crows!
Crows! They ride the Western Front!There goes…the corn and pumpkin!Damn crows!
FARMER
…wind ‘gonna blow…I hope I’m ready
…wind ‘gonna blow…I hope I’m ready
CHORUS
Crows!
Crows!
WIFE
…John, come inside the shelter!
…John, come inside the shelter!
FARMER
…just another minute…wind ‘gonna blowThere goes the dream
…just another minute…wind ‘gonna blowThere goes the dream
CHORUS
Wind Blows!Bring Crows!Devastation!
Wind Blows!Bring Crows!Devastation!
WIFE
Get inside, you fool.
Get inside, you fool.
FARMER
No, This time I’m ready.
The scene fades, revealing black curtains.
Lightning shakes room to reveal a screen with close-ups of Princess’s eyes, ears, lips? Forehead!
No, This time I’m ready.
The scene fades, revealing black curtains.
Lightning shakes room to reveal a screen with close-ups of Princess’s eyes, ears, lips? Forehead!
(OVERHEARD)
PRINCESS
How many storms?
That’s what I want to know Darlings!
Hard times, we know all about it don’t we Honies?
None of us are different when it comes to hard times.
How many hard times must I weather and keep my shit together?
This is the second of 3 experiments.
And I look fucking fabulous!
SCENE 2 The Flying Machine
Produced by Leathers-Macon
Staring Charles Kollock as Captiva-
Costumes/Sets by ---------
The entire proscenium becomes an airship, as we meet our heroine, CAPTIVA which is really Princess Charles! She is surrounded by uniformed soldiers. Occasionally, the vehicle is rocked by weather.
OFFICER
We’ve got to find a place to land. This front is too large to go above, or outrun.
CAPTIVA
Must be some place…
Must be some place…
SOLDIER
Velocity increasing...
OFFICER
ome place close. We’re losing time to be picky.
SOLDIER
Wind speed has risen 5 knots
CAPTIVA
We’ll be over land soon. There’ll be a place.
OFFICER
If we don’t get pushed into the deep first!
CAPTIVA
Button your lip and fly this damn thing.
OFFICER
Yes Ma’am. (to soldiers) I want full reports!
CAPTIVA
(Looking confident, then privately worried)Wait for me. Wait for me storm…Let me get out of your wayAnd on to mineThat’s what I’ll doJust slip on byAnd watch you go flow above meOn the clouds I just gave back to youWait for me to reach the landAnd tell my grandkidsHow I escaped youThis storm of the centuryNot an air current occurrenceLike I’ve ever seen before…And I’ve been flying a whileI should know!
SOLDIER
Speed continues to increase
OFFICER
Madame, I’m taking us lower
CAPTIVAL
and is just aheadI can feel itYet the smell isn’t to us yetWe’ll hear the waves crashingThe daylight is ‘gonna wait on us, too.This ship has flown the skiesBefore, and knows howTo find a safe berthingWe’ve landed in the dark beforeSo that’s not an issueIt’s just a freak current occurrenceLike we’ve never seen beforeYou’ve been flying awhileYou should know.Wait for me. Wait for me storm…Let me get out of your wayAnd on to mineThat’s what I’ll doJust slip on byAnd watch you go flow above meOn the clouds I just gave back to youWait for me to reach the landAnd tell my grandkidsHow I escaped youDamn wind!
OFFICER
There…land!That’s Reef Crater beyond it.(to soldiers) Take us down into thatBowl
SOLDIER
Many trees below…It won’t be easy…
CAPTIVA
Make it so.Protect my ship from weatherWait for me. Wait for me storm…Let me get out of your wayAnd on to mineThat’s what I’ll doJust slip on byAnd watch you go flow above meOn clouds I just gave awayTemporarily give awayAnd don’t leave much damage in your wake.
OFFICER
That’s a wish! It can’t be so.(to soldiers)
Take us DOWN I say!
Lights fade.
Lights fade.
(OVERHEARD)
PRINCESS
After this I felt all alone!
We have then our Third Assumption!
...The sons bon marché de tinter de cuivre et casser le verre !
...the cheap sounds of tinkling brass and breaking glass!
We all have to find a spot of dignity to land our pride. And our nerves!
SCENE 3
We all have to find a spot of dignity to land our pride. And our nerves!
SCENE 3
The Bone Cave
Produced by Leathers-Macon
Staring ---
Costumes/Sets by ---
Produced by Leathers-Macon
Staring ---
Costumes/Sets by ---
The scene opens with MANNING, a runner, building a firein a cave made of tree roots. The beams stretch high to the ceiling, resembling the ribs of a huge, forgotten fish. However, they are real in that they live and breathe like ghost lungs, offering an omniscient and dogmatic chorus.
MANNING
Damn the rain, no dry wood.Hardly enough to last the night.But maybe if I can block theSideways rain! (he laughs)But this whole escape hasn’t been easySo what’s a little waterAnd what is that approaching sound?Maybe an engineYes a very LOUD engineAnd the screech of equipmentBut this is the deep endOf no whereSo what could it be?And what does it wantDoes it want me?Did it come to find me?Damn the rain, just small dry woodWhat’s with that sound?And whose engine?
FRENCH CHORUS
(repeat of same)Condamner la pluie, ne non sécher de bois.
A peine assez durer la nuit. Mais peut-être si je peux bloquer la pluie de travers !
Que est-ce mais cette évasion entière n'a pas été facile
Si quel est une petite eau Et qui approche le son ?
Que est-ce peut-être un moteur Oui un moteur
très BRUYANT Et le cri aigu d'équipement Mais ceci est la fin profonde
De non où Si ce pourrait être ? Et que veut-il le Fait me veut ?
Est-il venu me trouver ? Condamner la pluie, le juste petit bois sec
Quel Est avec que solide ? Et dont le moteur ?
MANNING
Damn the rain, no dry wood
CHORUS
Condamner la pluie, ne non sécher de bois.
MANNING
And what is that approaching sound?
CHORUS
Et qui approche le son ?
MANNING
Damn the rain, Damn that sound!
CHORUS
Que ce pourrait-il être ?
MANNING
Yes, what could it be?
CHORUS
C'est le son de danger! It is the sign of danger!
MANNING…of danger? I am ready!
CHORUS
C'est le son de tinter de cuivreIt is the sound of tinkling brassThat hollow sound of loss and life laid waste!
MANNING
Damn the rain, no dry woodDamn that sound, those sounds above!
CHORUSLe Sort dangereux, je suis prêt à faire face à.
CHORUSLe Sort dangereux, je suis prêt à faire face à.
MANNING
Dangerous Fate, I’m ready to face.
CHORUS
Le Sort dangereux, je suis prêt à faire face à.
MANNING
Dangerous Fate, I’m ready to face!
(A shadow covers the stage…)
CHORUS
Le Sort dangereux, je suis prêt à faire face à.
MANNING
Dangerous Fate, I’m ready to face!
(A shadow covers the stage…)
GRAND HOST
(low laughter off stage, plus effects, then whispered)
Come Out...
Come Out
(The airship lands hard, near atop MANNING!)
Come Out and Play
Creatures of this world
this land!
SOLDIER
There seems to be a man, not one of ours...
SOLDIER 2
...Trapped...under our Gondola!
CAPTIVA
The luck, the luck!
(Laughter)
MANNING
Help!
CAPTIVA
The dirty rotten luck!
(laughter, subsiding to...)
Who the Hell are you?
MANNING
Help!
SOLDIER
Shim over the side with a rope and see.
SOLDIER 2
(To other soldiers)
You heard him! He wasn't talking to me idiots!
The other men scramble to tether and reach MANNING.
SOLDIER
Well..
SOLDIER 2
Well...
SOLDIER 3
We got 'em. He's uh...Dead!
(Continued...)
Friday, May 18, 2007
Write a "Save the Date" Reminder Letter
For our wonderful Kersey-Gladney team2 within the Atlanta Cotillion benefiting AID Atlanta, I was asked to send a letter reminding our friends of the dates where we may need their attendance or assistance.
I agonized over this for days until a real "business principal" occurred to me, which was "...clearly ask for what you want."
As you read the initial correspondence below, please keep in mind that I was trying to be gracious while also avoiding too many details about the event, which could confuse the contributor.
-----------------
Dear Friend,
Once again thanks for your support of me and our Atlanta Cotillion benefiting AID Atlanta. The actual event is September 15th, but we will be holding small fundraisers through the summer to reach our goal of $25K for the group's goal of $100K.
We need our foot in the door with corporate donations. The best part? 100% goes to AID Atlanta, and 100% is tax deductible. Please email me if you have contacts at a big company who might help our team. I need them!
Please save the following dates and we will send you invitations.
Thursday, June 14th "Greater Tuna" Play at Theater Decatur. 8pm. All proceeds go to the Atlanta Cotillion Benefiting AID Atlanta. Go to http://www.atlantacotillion.com/ and click on Events to buy tickets. Please remember to give my team credit. And thanks!
Saturday, June 16th "Visionaries" show at Buckhead's trendy Trinity Gallery courtesy of our friend Alan Avery. Includes wine, fusion apps, beautiful people, dueling DJs, and a fashion show by Bill Hallman Designs, Inc.
Saturday, July 7th (7/7/7) 7-10pm "Lucky" Private Party at the home of John West & Michael Lappin. Gambling for prizes, 2 Chefs, fusion apps, & a wine tasting.
Saturday, July 21st "Jocks Itch for Joes" 12noon-8pm ...an all-day sports party at Joe's on Juniper. Bottomless beers and a prize given every 5 minutes.
Your Friends,
Ray Macon AKA "Cammie" Beauchamps, Atlanta Cotillion benefiting AID Atlanta Deb 2007
J. Gladney & Bo Kersey Team Leaders
I agonized over this for days until a real "business principal" occurred to me, which was "...clearly ask for what you want."
As you read the initial correspondence below, please keep in mind that I was trying to be gracious while also avoiding too many details about the event, which could confuse the contributor.
-----------------
Dear Friend,
Once again thanks for your support of me and our Atlanta Cotillion benefiting AID Atlanta. The actual event is September 15th, but we will be holding small fundraisers through the summer to reach our goal of $25K for the group's goal of $100K.
We need our foot in the door with corporate donations. The best part? 100% goes to AID Atlanta, and 100% is tax deductible. Please email me if you have contacts at a big company who might help our team. I need them!
Please save the following dates and we will send you invitations.
Thursday, June 14th "Greater Tuna" Play at Theater Decatur. 8pm. All proceeds go to the Atlanta Cotillion Benefiting AID Atlanta. Go to http://www.atlantacotillion.com/ and click on Events to buy tickets. Please remember to give my team credit. And thanks!
Saturday, June 16th "Visionaries" show at Buckhead's trendy Trinity Gallery courtesy of our friend Alan Avery. Includes wine, fusion apps, beautiful people, dueling DJs, and a fashion show by Bill Hallman Designs, Inc.
Saturday, July 7th (7/7/7) 7-10pm "Lucky" Private Party at the home of John West & Michael Lappin. Gambling for prizes, 2 Chefs, fusion apps, & a wine tasting.
Saturday, July 21st "Jocks Itch for Joes" 12noon-8pm ...an all-day sports party at Joe's on Juniper. Bottomless beers and a prize given every 5 minutes.
Your Friends,
Ray Macon AKA "Cammie" Beauchamps, Atlanta Cotillion benefiting AID Atlanta Deb 2007
J. Gladney & Bo Kersey Team Leaders
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Concept to Completion: The Dorothy Gale Laboratory
Stay tuned for tidbits of our exciting "new experiment in adult entertainment"...the Dorothy Laboratory!
As a Tribute to The Atlanta Cotillion benefiting AID Atlanta we present 4 "parties of good mannered repute" and the best in hip "the Dorothy Gale Laboratory."
100% of proceeds tax deductible and benefit AID Atlanta Cotillion 2007!
Reservations: teamedward@yahoo.com
Now booking acts. Nothing distasteful. For information, write to : teamedward@yahoo.com
As a Tribute to The Atlanta Cotillion benefiting AID Atlanta we present 4 "parties of good mannered repute" and the best in hip "the Dorothy Gale Laboratory."
100% of proceeds tax deductible and benefit AID Atlanta Cotillion 2007!
Reservations: teamedward@yahoo.com
Now booking acts. Nothing distasteful. For information, write to : teamedward@yahoo.com
Record: The Clock Tower, The Bone Cave, The Flying Machine
“Dévastation”
A Lyric Play
The Clock Tower, The Bone Cave, The Flying Machine
(La Tour d'Horloge, La Caverne d'Os, La Machine Volante)
Synopsis: In the City a momentous achievement---a Clock Tower, with
an ever changing façade of figures celebrating the ironies of Life.
Beyond, the clock workings reveal a parallel world, where
The humor from the front of the clock tower has the exact opposite effect
On the Characters in the back…
Opening: Music fade-up to Prelude
Setting: A farm in Oklahoma. The sky is purple green. The few trees
Which are growing are tossed about. A storm is coming.
SCENE 1 The Disturbance at the Farm
CHORUS
A Lyric Play
The Clock Tower, The Bone Cave, The Flying Machine
(La Tour d'Horloge, La Caverne d'Os, La Machine Volante)
Synopsis: In the City a momentous achievement---a Clock Tower, with
an ever changing façade of figures celebrating the ironies of Life.
Beyond, the clock workings reveal a parallel world, where
The humor from the front of the clock tower has the exact opposite effect
On the Characters in the back…
Opening: Music fade-up to Prelude
Setting: A farm in Oklahoma. The sky is purple green. The few trees
Which are growing are tossed about. A storm is coming.
SCENE 1 The Disturbance at the Farm
CHORUS
Crows! They ride the Western Front!
There goes…the corn and pumpkin!
Damn crows!
FARMER
There goes…the corn and pumpkin!
Damn crows!
FARMER
…wind ‘gonna blow…I hope I’m ready
CHORUS
CHORUS
Crows!
WIFE
WIFE
…John, come inside the shelter!
FARMER
FARMER
…just another minute…wind ‘gonna blow
There goes the dream
CHORUS
There goes the dream
CHORUS
Wind Blows!
Bring Crows!
Devastation!
WIFE
Bring Crows!
Devastation!
WIFE
Get inside, you fool.
FARMER
FARMER
No, This time I’m ready.
SCENE 2 the Flying Machine
The entire proscenium becomes an airship, as we meet our heroine, Captiva.
She is surrounded by uniformed soldiers. Occasionally, the vehicle is rocked
by weather.
OFFICER
We’ve got to find a place to land. This front is too large to go above, or outrun.
CAPTIVA
Must be some place…
SOLDIER
Velocity increasing...
OFFICER
Some place close. We’re losing time to be picky.
SOLDIER
Wind speed has risen 5 knots
CAPTIVA
We’ll be over land soon. There’ll be a place.
OFFICER
If we don’t get pushed into the deep first!
CAPTIVA
Button your lip and fly this damn thing.
OFFICER
Yes Ma’am. (to soldiers) I want full reports!
CAPTIVA
(Looking confident, then privately worried)
Wait for me. Wait for me storm…
Let me get out of your way
And on to mine
That’s what I’ll do
Just slip on by
And watch you go flow above me
On the clouds I just gave back to you
Wait for me to reach the land
And tell my grandkids
How I escaped you
This storm of the century
Not an air current occurrence
Like I’ve ever seen before…
And I’ve been flying a while
I should know
SOLDIER
Speed continues to increase
OFFICER
Madame, I’m taking us lower
CAPTIVA
Land is just ahead
I can feel it
Yet the smell isn’t to us yet
We’ll hear the waves crashing
The daylight is ‘gonna wait on us, too.
This ship has flown the skies
Before, and knows how
To find a safe berthing
We’ve landed in the dark before
So that’s not an issue
It’s just a freak current occurrence
Like we’ve never seen before
You’ve been flying awhile
You should know.
Wait for me. Wait for me storm…
Let me get out of your way
And on to mine
That’s what I’ll do
Just slip on by
And watch you go flow above me
On the clouds I just gave back to you
Wait for me to reach the land
And tell my grandkids
How I escaped you
Damn wind!
OFFICER
There…land!
That’s Reef Crater beyond it.
(to soldiers) Take us down into that
Bowl
SOLDIER
Many trees below…It won’t be easy
CAPTIVA
Make it so.
Protect my ship from weather
Wait for me. Wait for me storm…
Let me get out of your way
And on to mine
That’s what I’ll do
Just slip on by
And watch you go flow above me
On clouds I just gave away
Temporarily give away
And don’t leave much damage in your wake.
OFFICER
That’s a wish! It can’t be so.
(to soldiers) Take us DOWN I say!
SCENE 2 the Flying Machine
The entire proscenium becomes an airship, as we meet our heroine, Captiva.
She is surrounded by uniformed soldiers. Occasionally, the vehicle is rocked
by weather.
OFFICER
We’ve got to find a place to land. This front is too large to go above, or outrun.
CAPTIVA
Must be some place…
SOLDIER
Velocity increasing...
OFFICER
Some place close. We’re losing time to be picky.
SOLDIER
Wind speed has risen 5 knots
CAPTIVA
We’ll be over land soon. There’ll be a place.
OFFICER
If we don’t get pushed into the deep first!
CAPTIVA
Button your lip and fly this damn thing.
OFFICER
Yes Ma’am. (to soldiers) I want full reports!
CAPTIVA
(Looking confident, then privately worried)
Wait for me. Wait for me storm…
Let me get out of your way
And on to mine
That’s what I’ll do
Just slip on by
And watch you go flow above me
On the clouds I just gave back to you
Wait for me to reach the land
And tell my grandkids
How I escaped you
This storm of the century
Not an air current occurrence
Like I’ve ever seen before…
And I’ve been flying a while
I should know
SOLDIER
Speed continues to increase
OFFICER
Madame, I’m taking us lower
CAPTIVA
Land is just ahead
I can feel it
Yet the smell isn’t to us yet
We’ll hear the waves crashing
The daylight is ‘gonna wait on us, too.
This ship has flown the skies
Before, and knows how
To find a safe berthing
We’ve landed in the dark before
So that’s not an issue
It’s just a freak current occurrence
Like we’ve never seen before
You’ve been flying awhile
You should know.
Wait for me. Wait for me storm…
Let me get out of your way
And on to mine
That’s what I’ll do
Just slip on by
And watch you go flow above me
On the clouds I just gave back to you
Wait for me to reach the land
And tell my grandkids
How I escaped you
Damn wind!
OFFICER
There…land!
That’s Reef Crater beyond it.
(to soldiers) Take us down into that
Bowl
SOLDIER
Many trees below…It won’t be easy
CAPTIVA
Make it so.
Protect my ship from weather
Wait for me. Wait for me storm…
Let me get out of your way
And on to mine
That’s what I’ll do
Just slip on by
And watch you go flow above me
On clouds I just gave away
Temporarily give away
And don’t leave much damage in your wake.
OFFICER
That’s a wish! It can’t be so.
(to soldiers) Take us DOWN I say!
Scene 3 the Bone Cave
The scene opens with MANNING, a runner, building a fire
in a cave made of tree roots. The beams stretch high to the ceiling, resembling the ribs of a huge, forgotten fish. However, they are real in that they live and breathe like ghost lungs,
offering an omniscent and dogmatic chorus.
MANNING
Damn the rain, no dry wood.
Hardly enough to last the night.
But maybe if I can block the
Sideways rain! (he laughs)
But this whole escape hasn’t been easy
So what’s a little water
And what is that approaching sound?
Maybe an engine
Yes a very LOUD engine
And the screech of equipment
But this is the deep end
Of no where
So what could it be?
And what does it want
Does it want me?
Did it come to find me?
Damn the rain, just small dry wood
What’s with that sound?
And whose engine?
MANNING
Damn the rain, no dry wood.
Hardly enough to last the night.
But maybe if I can block the
Sideways rain! (he laughs)
But this whole escape hasn’t been easy
So what’s a little water
And what is that approaching sound?
Maybe an engine
Yes a very LOUD engine
And the screech of equipment
But this is the deep end
Of no where
So what could it be?
And what does it want
Does it want me?
Did it come to find me?
Damn the rain, just small dry wood
What’s with that sound?
And whose engine?
FRENCH CHORUS (repeat of same)
Condamner la pluie, ne non sécher de bois. A peine assez durer la nuit. Mais peut-être si je peux bloquer la pluie de travers ! Que
est-ce mais cette évasion entière n'a pas été facile Si quel est une petite eau Et qui approche le son ? Que est-ce peut-être un moteur
Oui un moteur très BRUYANT Et le cri aigu d'équipement Mais ceci est la fin profonde De non où Si ce pourrait être ? Et que veut-il le
Fait me veut ? Est-il venu me trouver ? Condamner la pluie, le juste petit bois sec Quel Est avec que solide ? Et dont le moteur ?
MANNING
Damn the rain, no dry wood
CHORUS
Condamner la pluie, ne non sécher de bois.
MANNING
And what is that approaching sound?
CHORUS
Et qui approche le son ?
MANNING\
Damn the rain, Damn that sound!
CHORUS
Que ce pourrait-il être ?
MANNING
Yes, what could it be?
CHORUS
C'est le son de danger
It is the sign of danger
MANNING
…of danger? I am ready!
CHORUS
C'est le son de tinter de cuivre
It is the sound of tinkling brass
That hollow sound of loss and life laid waste!
MANNING
Damn the rain, no dry wood
Damn that sound, those sounds above!
CHORUS
Le Sort dangereux, je suis prêt à faire face à.
MANNING
Dangerous Fate, I’m ready to face.
CHORUS
Le Sort dangereux, je suis prêt à faire face à.
MANNING
Dangerous Fate, I’m ready to face!
Friday, April 13, 2007
Slay them with a Well-Thought Business Presentation
Okay you have a lot to say and you have a limited time slot in which to say it...what to do? Last year three of us made an attempt to get in-house with Keller Williams, and divided our show into three parts. We call this one "Good to Great".
Keller Williams Presentation
Tyana
Good morning.
What a GREAT crowd this is! Did you come for the free bagels?
Me too. Me too.
Seriously, I am Tyana Crowe with the Persily & Associates Law Firm.
We’re honored that you have invited us here today.
Please note we’re wearing Keller Red!
This is a friendly way of showing our ongoing commitment to Keller Williams.
Plus we wanted you to see us coming!
That’s because we know that Keller Williams and the Persily Law Firm are both growing forces in the Georgia Real Estate Community.
Your color is RED, and ours is Blue.
We’re two American companies striving for superb customer service, integrity within our industry, and repeat real estate transactions!
To do that we also are like you---we hire the right people!
But our boss makes sure of that. Seth Persily serves as the Managing Partner for our firm. He is a Harvard Law Graduate and worked at Sutherland, Asbil and Brennan before opening his own practice in 2002. Realizing early-on that his company could do it better, Seth became determined to change the landscape of the Closing Industry As We Know It.
Seth
Hi I’m Seth Persily.
Poof the industry is changed!
You and I both wish it were that simple, right?
We are here today to touch upon some of the things BOTH of our companies are doing to make buying the American Dream easier and less stressful for ALL.
Gone are the days of good service, it seems, much less GREAT service.
Gone are the kind voices which bellow “Welcome. May I help you?” Or even these alien phrases after a purchase “…Thank you. We’re glad you came. Please come again.”
These words are still spoken daily at our two businesses. We know that great service means you and I will get repeat business. AND referrals. People talk. Atlanta can be a real small town when it comes to real estate buying and selling. Hopefully they will tell their friends about Keller Williams and come back for their investment properties! I hope so.
And---like you---we at Persily & Associates have repeat customers. After experiencing great service, people don’t want to use anyone else!
Today we’re here to make a business proposal so that we may bring Persily Law into your Keller Williams locations. To do this, we have a solid plan to share with you today.
For the opportunity to work within the KW Intown office, we are happy to pay $3,000/month rent and earmark an additional $1,200/month towards marketing and making KW Intown agents happier and more industrious.
I myself will conduct a monthly lunch-and-learn on such topics as Conveyances by Legal Entities, 1031 Exchanges, and Ethical Issues Facing Real Estate Agents. We will also sponsor a Guest Lecture Series with our business associates on such topics as Fraud Detection & Prevention by Lawyer’s Title Company, and Understanding the Title Abstraction Process by Attorney Title Services.
In addition, for those agents who are interested, we will replicate our very popular in-house “Good to Great” book discussion series. (Say something about the book, while Tyana and Ray pass out copies)
Ray
Good morning, I am Ray Macon, Client Relations Manager for Persily Law.
I’m lucky in that I get to meet Keller Williams agents throughout the city. They are ALL my Clients. I want to play a short phone messaged I received this summer from Scott Eaves, one of your Keller Agents located in Hapeville:
(play tape) "...Ray, I just left your office, and I have never had better service or been morerelaxed at a closing. I will use your company again and again."
Scott is a terrific individual, and that was a very kind message.
Okay so what about the PERKS? We are all-about the Perks for the Keller Offices!
We will commit to make KW Intown agents more content, productive, and successful. Among the events we will sponsor are Second Monday Massages in the office by a licensed massage therapist, monthly Mix-and-Mingle Happy Hours, a Holiday Party for agents and their families at the Four Seasons 50th Floor Skyroom, a Wine Tasting Party, and Listing Parties for individual agents selling specific homes.
Persily & Associates will staff KW Intown at all times with an attorney (who will be made a Persily & Associates partner to help ensure stability and accountability) and a client relations support specialist. In addition, Seth himself will be present to help oversee the satellite office and conduct closings. We will provide computers (which will be fully integrated with our main office), fax and copy machines, and, of course, plenty of fine chocolates for the closing room.
As is the Persily tradition, wrapped champagne bottles are given to both Buyers and Seller at the end of each closing.
Seth
We currently conduct 50-70 closings per month. We consider our staff to be the most likable and competent in the city, currently comprised of 5 contract attorneys, 4 paralegals, 2 client relations specialists, and one in-house title abstracter who can provide next-day title searches.
We invest in the latest technologies, and our infrastructure allows for seamless integration between our main office and a satellite office; should the staff at our satellite office ever become overwhelmed, our main office will be able to step in as if they were personally present.
In addition, we carry the latest version of LandTech (allowing us to provide Settlement Statements via email), “never-busy-signal” fax lines, and client relations cell phones for 24-hour availability.
We do not currently have an alliance in another real estate office, which is why this is such a significant opportunity for us. We are very excited to go “above and beyond” what has ever been done before to ensure that the KW Intown satellite office is a tremendous success.
Tyana
Now we’d like to open the floor for questions.
Keller Williams Presentation
Tyana
Good morning.
What a GREAT crowd this is! Did you come for the free bagels?
Me too. Me too.
Seriously, I am Tyana Crowe with the Persily & Associates Law Firm.
We’re honored that you have invited us here today.
Please note we’re wearing Keller Red!
This is a friendly way of showing our ongoing commitment to Keller Williams.
Plus we wanted you to see us coming!
That’s because we know that Keller Williams and the Persily Law Firm are both growing forces in the Georgia Real Estate Community.
Your color is RED, and ours is Blue.
We’re two American companies striving for superb customer service, integrity within our industry, and repeat real estate transactions!
To do that we also are like you---we hire the right people!
But our boss makes sure of that. Seth Persily serves as the Managing Partner for our firm. He is a Harvard Law Graduate and worked at Sutherland, Asbil and Brennan before opening his own practice in 2002. Realizing early-on that his company could do it better, Seth became determined to change the landscape of the Closing Industry As We Know It.
Seth
Hi I’m Seth Persily.
Poof the industry is changed!
You and I both wish it were that simple, right?
We are here today to touch upon some of the things BOTH of our companies are doing to make buying the American Dream easier and less stressful for ALL.
Gone are the days of good service, it seems, much less GREAT service.
Gone are the kind voices which bellow “Welcome. May I help you?” Or even these alien phrases after a purchase “…Thank you. We’re glad you came. Please come again.”
These words are still spoken daily at our two businesses. We know that great service means you and I will get repeat business. AND referrals. People talk. Atlanta can be a real small town when it comes to real estate buying and selling. Hopefully they will tell their friends about Keller Williams and come back for their investment properties! I hope so.
And---like you---we at Persily & Associates have repeat customers. After experiencing great service, people don’t want to use anyone else!
Today we’re here to make a business proposal so that we may bring Persily Law into your Keller Williams locations. To do this, we have a solid plan to share with you today.
For the opportunity to work within the KW Intown office, we are happy to pay $3,000/month rent and earmark an additional $1,200/month towards marketing and making KW Intown agents happier and more industrious.
I myself will conduct a monthly lunch-and-learn on such topics as Conveyances by Legal Entities, 1031 Exchanges, and Ethical Issues Facing Real Estate Agents. We will also sponsor a Guest Lecture Series with our business associates on such topics as Fraud Detection & Prevention by Lawyer’s Title Company, and Understanding the Title Abstraction Process by Attorney Title Services.
In addition, for those agents who are interested, we will replicate our very popular in-house “Good to Great” book discussion series. (Say something about the book, while Tyana and Ray pass out copies)
Ray
Good morning, I am Ray Macon, Client Relations Manager for Persily Law.
I’m lucky in that I get to meet Keller Williams agents throughout the city. They are ALL my Clients. I want to play a short phone messaged I received this summer from Scott Eaves, one of your Keller Agents located in Hapeville:
(play tape) "...Ray, I just left your office, and I have never had better service or been morerelaxed at a closing. I will use your company again and again."
Scott is a terrific individual, and that was a very kind message.
Okay so what about the PERKS? We are all-about the Perks for the Keller Offices!
We will commit to make KW Intown agents more content, productive, and successful. Among the events we will sponsor are Second Monday Massages in the office by a licensed massage therapist, monthly Mix-and-Mingle Happy Hours, a Holiday Party for agents and their families at the Four Seasons 50th Floor Skyroom, a Wine Tasting Party, and Listing Parties for individual agents selling specific homes.
Persily & Associates will staff KW Intown at all times with an attorney (who will be made a Persily & Associates partner to help ensure stability and accountability) and a client relations support specialist. In addition, Seth himself will be present to help oversee the satellite office and conduct closings. We will provide computers (which will be fully integrated with our main office), fax and copy machines, and, of course, plenty of fine chocolates for the closing room.
As is the Persily tradition, wrapped champagne bottles are given to both Buyers and Seller at the end of each closing.
Seth
We currently conduct 50-70 closings per month. We consider our staff to be the most likable and competent in the city, currently comprised of 5 contract attorneys, 4 paralegals, 2 client relations specialists, and one in-house title abstracter who can provide next-day title searches.
We invest in the latest technologies, and our infrastructure allows for seamless integration between our main office and a satellite office; should the staff at our satellite office ever become overwhelmed, our main office will be able to step in as if they were personally present.
In addition, we carry the latest version of LandTech (allowing us to provide Settlement Statements via email), “never-busy-signal” fax lines, and client relations cell phones for 24-hour availability.
We do not currently have an alliance in another real estate office, which is why this is such a significant opportunity for us. We are very excited to go “above and beyond” what has ever been done before to ensure that the KW Intown satellite office is a tremendous success.
Tyana
Now we’d like to open the floor for questions.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Write a Bawdy Comedy Show
Until 2006 I had the privilege of writing and co-producing three successful fundraiser "pageant" shows for the Hotlanta Softball League (at that time the second largest NAGAAA adult league in the USA).
We produced Who Will Be the Next Hotlanta Idol, HSL Penthouse Party (a tribute to Henry Mancini) and HSL Project Runaway ( a parody of Bravo TV's Project Runway).
Idol was, expected, a take on the American Idol phenomenon which had the country stuck by its goose pemples.
Our parody show was a great success, earning more than any previous show. I had my partner, Ron Leathers, to thank for his genius set design--- a perfect American Idol set! Built with the passion of a true fan, with no doubt!
Also Who Will Be the Next Hotlanta Idol was the last major sports club show produced at the infamous Backstreet Atlanta club in 2004.
A bulldozer took that club in 2005.
---------------------
That year, we had (what a Midtown queen would call) a whimsical musical logistical nightmare.
With a cast of 30 (every team wanted in the show) and back-up dancers/casts totalling 72, we needed a piece of music we could use to "bump-in" and "bump-out" of scenes.
The DJ was already angry that he had to play 15 different scene CDs!
So Denton Graham, notorious as Kitty Kari-All, insisted we all take a serious ear to the recent Henri Mancini Anniversary Compilation Pink Panther's Penthouse Party album. It was incredible.
We later adapted the show around the music.
Our premise was this: "...what if the best members of the best sports club in the U.S. came up to the best penthouse in the town for a party? What---or who--- would they be wearing?
Posters for the show read something like:
I came across the scripts to the show open of Project Runaway. I wanted you to see how bawdy writing has to be to appear comical for an adult crowd!
HSL Project RUNaWAY 2005
PRELUDE Show CD TRACK______)
(BACKSTAGE) Smoke machine starts behind Shadowbox.
ACT 1 (RUNWAY)
(OPENING NUMBER)
Curtain closed (SHOW CD TRACK #1 ) (:00 TRT)
(OFF STAGE) At cue, curtain will open just enough to give way for the Shadowbox, and an entrance/exit space.
Art’s voice on microphone will introduce Kitty, in Shadowbox…
…Then Art introduces Gary Durden, behind Denton in Shadowbox with a knife.
BOTH HOSTS walk out of the Shadowbox to the runway. They then will go off stage______ and immediately begin introducing the Presentation Contestants.
(HOSTS please keep the introductions as short as possible, and talk in the same place every time, so the DJ can raise and lower the volume of the music. (Note: DO NOT, for ANY REASON, ask the DJ to stop the music for the Contestants/Between the Contestants.)
KITTY: Contestant #1_______________________
JENNA: Contestant #2 From the ___________team….
ETC.
When the last Contestant is introduced, the music will fade.
Kitty & Jenna say “hello” and welcome to the show, talk about this fundraiser, and the purpose of the tip buckets.
KITTY: Now it’s time to meet your show producers and judges…(introduce the Production Team of McCracken-Macon. Please mention 2003’s “Who Will Be The Next Hotlanta Idol?” and 2004’s “HSL Penthouse Party”)
KITTY and JENNA exit, change slightly for Women’s Talent)
Kitchen & RR chit-chat about the Hotlanta Softball League
The 2005 Show Committee, then introduce Judges.
(BACKSTAGE) Women’s Talent #1 is READY.
RR & Kitch re-intro Gary & Denton (SHOW CD Track)
KITTY & JENNA enter thru side of curtains, then chit-chat about the couture show they have just seen, and what is coming-up. Re-establish TIP BUCKET policies…
Curtain OPENS For Women’s Contestant #1_____
ACT 2 TALENT
Women’s TALENT begins
(See OTHER SHEET for Act CDs & Track #s)
There will be 16 different CDs lined correctly in SHOEBOX.)
(KITTY & JENNA come out on front of stage. They make funny remarks after every act.
At the end of the MISS Talent, the show will go into intermission.
INTERMISSION
(BACKSTAGE): Art & Crew restore Original Shadowbox+ Light
(BACKSTAGE) Tabulation of Women’s award
Act 3 Re-Open of Show TBA
Curtain Opens to Runway Set (AGAIN)
Men’s Bathing Suit (music Tracks TBA repeat if necessary)
HOSTS bring ALL Male Contestants Back on Stage at the End for Applause. Men, stay in swimsuit, and be prepared to come back out that way later. Men exit.
(BACKSTAGE) Tabulation ofMen’s award
(BACKSTAGE)Tabulation of People’s Choice
KITTY comes up in front of curtain, introduces the last walk of Jenna Tellya.
(No Music Here)
ACT 4 (Last Walk, Awards)
KITTY talks more about HSL then introduce Jenna Tellya
Last Walk Jenna Tellya (__________CD Track#___)
HOSTS: chit-chat.
Then they will then bring all of the Contestants back on stage, as they did in the beginning. (Music Tracks TBA repeat if necessary)
HOSTS: give-out the People’s Choice Award.
Crowning (Music tracks TBA ---)
(End of Show)
(BACKSTAGE)Winners/Talent/Producers proceed to Silent Auction Area for handshakes.
We produced Who Will Be the Next Hotlanta Idol, HSL Penthouse Party (a tribute to Henry Mancini) and HSL Project Runaway ( a parody of Bravo TV's Project Runway).
Idol was, expected, a take on the American Idol phenomenon which had the country stuck by its goose pemples.
Our parody show was a great success, earning more than any previous show. I had my partner, Ron Leathers, to thank for his genius set design--- a perfect American Idol set! Built with the passion of a true fan, with no doubt!
Also Who Will Be the Next Hotlanta Idol was the last major sports club show produced at the infamous Backstreet Atlanta club in 2004.
A bulldozer took that club in 2005.
---------------------
That year, we had (what a Midtown queen would call) a whimsical musical logistical nightmare.
With a cast of 30 (every team wanted in the show) and back-up dancers/casts totalling 72, we needed a piece of music we could use to "bump-in" and "bump-out" of scenes.
The DJ was already angry that he had to play 15 different scene CDs!
So Denton Graham, notorious as Kitty Kari-All, insisted we all take a serious ear to the recent Henri Mancini Anniversary Compilation Pink Panther's Penthouse Party album. It was incredible.
We later adapted the show around the music.
Our premise was this: "...what if the best members of the best sports club in the U.S. came up to the best penthouse in the town for a party? What---or who--- would they be wearing?
Posters for the show read something like:
"High above the clouds, haute' couture and character assassination..."
Denton borrowed sets and my crew built a realistic and modern elevator. Our moment of glory came and went as the curtain opened.
What a trophy, the stage looked like the most swanky penthouse you had ever seen!Do I need mention the best looking people were in the show?
Denton borrowed sets and my crew built a realistic and modern elevator. Our moment of glory came and went as the curtain opened.
What a trophy, the stage looked like the most swanky penthouse you had ever seen!Do I need mention the best looking people were in the show?
----------------------
Anyway, a zillion ideas forward and pat myself on the back for my volunteer work and patience. What's that? ...keep working, eh?
I came across the scripts to the show open of Project Runaway. I wanted you to see how bawdy writing has to be to appear comical for an adult crowd!
PRESENTATION
Script
Please welcome Contestant Number 1,
Tim Word of the B Division Xtreme Team.
Yeah, that’s Kitchen’s Guys.
Obviously someone on the team is
Hogging all the food.
Tim is appearing tonight as “SHY BOY”
He’s also very friendly at the fields.
Look at that chest!
That’s Hunk Contestant Number 1, SHY BOY.
And here comes Contestant #1 for the “MISS”
That’s really Myron of the C Division Steel.
Here, she appears as RuPauls’ Evil Step Sister, RE-CALL.
They may Re-Call RUPAUL next!
RuPaul would BEAT YOU DOWN Girl.
We asked ReCall about her “model diet” …
She says she owes her body to Magnum Extra Larges,
K-Y Jelly, Silicone, and a VASECTOMY.
VASECTOMY? Men HATE that word…
Get ‘Outta Here RECALL!
Now time for MORE MEN’S!
Presenting Hunk Derek of the B Division Sluggers.
He’s Mr. Hunk #2.
He calls himself “D-NASTY”
As in---- “doin’ the nasty?”
Derek says his Coach made him appear in tonight’s pageant because everyone else on his team is UGLY.
SAD, really…
Emerson, you need to draft more like Derek!
That’s D-NASTY of the Sluggers.
Women’s Contestant Number 2 is a familiar face.
That’s 2003’s Mr. Hunk, Mike Crocker, a Coach of the Atlanta Venom A Division Team…
How FAR we FALL, Honey.
Tonight she’s “SHELITA CORNDOG”…
…whatever the Hell that implies…
Of course she’ll eat a corndog!
Shelita pizza, shelita sausage!
But CORNDOG? Her mother was cruel.
Shelita said when she was a teenage child
She had her “monthly time” and a
Family of Cats followed her to school.
Men’s Contestant Number 3 is
Michael of the C Division Steel
He’s called “Mr. FINESSE”…
…and YES! He’s known for his
uh…endowment.
He refers to it as “the SCHLONG”.
He says it often slips out of his shorts
While exercising at the gym.
What gym is that again???
“MISS” Contestant Number 3 is Peter, of the
NEW D Division Team, The Eagle Talons.
She’s called “P-LO TOPASS”
And she’s got the greatest hobby.
P-LO told the show producers he like to
Sit and eat ice cream while
Watching rainbows.
So sickeningly sweet, I could die!
She’s been imported from the far away planet
Of Puerto Rico.
Please give another hand for P-LO TOPASS!
Next year she should take my cram course on
Picking a good drag name!
Coming in NEXT is Hunk Contestant Number 4.
He’s quite a man.
That’s Venom’s BRIAN as
“MR. HOSSIER DADDY.”
Yep, he’s from the country of Indiana.
His model diet consists of beer and sugar packets.
He says he once got kicked-out of a softball tournament for telling the Umpire he “had a nice box.”
Uh…OH!
That’s Brian, as “Hossier Daddy”.
Naughty Daddy, naughty!
For Miss Number 4 we have a former
Porn actress who once slept with RON JEREMY.
She’s really called Tony, but tonight
Please welcome the scandalous “MISS CARRIAGE”.
She’s a country lass…with chickens and goats at home.
The real kind.
Her model diet consists of Little Debbie Cakes and sweet tea.
She said she went to a seedy Nashville night club once
And had sex with KITCHEN.
Girl---some things are best kept secret!!!
Let’s have more MEN!
Here comes Contestant Number 5, Hunk KYLE, as “RAMSHACK RAMSEY”.
Sexy man, that name sounds dirty!!!!
He normally has vodka for dinner and an occasional Tic-Tac.
Kyle says he’s played with HSL for 2 years, and
He used to date Walter from last year’s show.
You didn’t want to borrow Walter’s chaps?
Welcome Kyle as RAMSHACK RAMSEY.
That’s Miss Contestant #5
She’s Jason of the Blue Knights Team
This year she’s called “TINA TOOTIN”
Really she gets the Susan Lucci Award
For being in this pageant 20 out of 21 times.
When asked by the producers to name
Something UNIQUE about herself, she said
“I have THREE nipples.”
Please don’t show us.
Next we have Mr. Hunk #6
That’s Neon John as the DIGITAL COWBOY
Neon is the HSL Webmaster
And all-around computer geek!
We love her.
He’s got landing lights on the inside of his
Hairy legs!
John plays for the D Division
Whackers Team, as Short Stop.
Contestant Number 6, Hunk John, as the Digital Cowboy…
Miss Contestant #6 looks a lot like a real woman
But the Whackers drafted her before taking a
Look at her cup…or lack of a cup!
That’s Stacey as LEZZIE MCGUIRE.
LEZZIE as in comfortable shoes?
For the first time in our 21 year history,
A real woman up for MISS HSL.
The times, they are a changin’!
More men, More Men!
Contestant #7 is no stranger to HSL
That’s Hunk Jim Fox as “RIDE ‘EM COWBOY”
He’s also Bam-Bam’s other half.
In fact, when the producers asked him about his diet, he said he “…eats all Bam-Bam, all the time.”
Now I’m gonna heave.
You’re looking at RIDE ‘EM COWBOY…
…Hunk Jim, sponsored by the D Division Cowboys.
Our MISS Contestant Number 7 is
Gary, of the C Division Grizzlies.
She’s called “FREDA LAY”
Freda says she’s on the Karen Carpenter diet.
She’s a model because she says she’s not qualified to do anything else.
Freda Lay has been a member of HSL for 5 years.
Men’s Number 8 is up next!
He’s a newby to HSL…
Yes, a show virgin.
That’s Hunk Dustin of the C Division Sharks as “EAZY D. LITE”
He looks easy. He looks lite.
This just might work!
He says his diet goes like this---Eat in Public, throw-up in private! Duuuuuhhhh!
Eazy D. says he wanted to be a model since the first time he tried on Momma’s underwear.
Welcome our last Hunk Contestant, DUSTIN, as Eazy D. Lite.
MISS Contestant Number 8 was in this contest last year.
That’s Shawn of the D Division Stingrays.
She’s really called “SHAWNDRA LEER.”
Shawndra says “Move over bitches, momma is here.”
She never gets embarrassed.
Her model diet is a simple formula…
…One bump of Tina for breakfast, two bumps of Whitney for Lunch, and a sensible Chicklet for dinner.
Contestant Number 8, SHAWNDRA LEER.
Last and Least is the great granddaughter of Constance Le Cruising…
By day he’s CLIFF of the D-Division ROOKS team.
By night, he’s CHERRI COLA.
This is his first year in HSL.
Cherri says she’s got the 3-F’s going for her: FABULOUS, FIERCE, and FRISKY.
She says three days before a pageant or photo shoot she eats nothing but Ex-Lax and Water.
Please welcome Cherrie Cola.
(HOSTS: BRING EVERYONE BACK OUT on STAGE EXCEPT first 2 women contestants!!!)
And that’s PRESENTATION!
(Welcome Guests, welcome to HSL, welcome your show Production team of Macon-McCracken)
--------------------------
Script
Please welcome Contestant Number 1,
Tim Word of the B Division Xtreme Team.
Yeah, that’s Kitchen’s Guys.
Obviously someone on the team is
Hogging all the food.
Tim is appearing tonight as “SHY BOY”
He’s also very friendly at the fields.
Look at that chest!
That’s Hunk Contestant Number 1, SHY BOY.
And here comes Contestant #1 for the “MISS”
That’s really Myron of the C Division Steel.
Here, she appears as RuPauls’ Evil Step Sister, RE-CALL.
They may Re-Call RUPAUL next!
RuPaul would BEAT YOU DOWN Girl.
We asked ReCall about her “model diet” …
She says she owes her body to Magnum Extra Larges,
K-Y Jelly, Silicone, and a VASECTOMY.
VASECTOMY? Men HATE that word…
Get ‘Outta Here RECALL!
Now time for MORE MEN’S!
Presenting Hunk Derek of the B Division Sluggers.
He’s Mr. Hunk #2.
He calls himself “D-NASTY”
As in---- “doin’ the nasty?”
Derek says his Coach made him appear in tonight’s pageant because everyone else on his team is UGLY.
SAD, really…
Emerson, you need to draft more like Derek!
That’s D-NASTY of the Sluggers.
Women’s Contestant Number 2 is a familiar face.
That’s 2003’s Mr. Hunk, Mike Crocker, a Coach of the Atlanta Venom A Division Team…
How FAR we FALL, Honey.
Tonight she’s “SHELITA CORNDOG”…
…whatever the Hell that implies…
Of course she’ll eat a corndog!
Shelita pizza, shelita sausage!
But CORNDOG? Her mother was cruel.
Shelita said when she was a teenage child
She had her “monthly time” and a
Family of Cats followed her to school.
Men’s Contestant Number 3 is
Michael of the C Division Steel
He’s called “Mr. FINESSE”…
…and YES! He’s known for his
uh…endowment.
He refers to it as “the SCHLONG”.
He says it often slips out of his shorts
While exercising at the gym.
What gym is that again???
“MISS” Contestant Number 3 is Peter, of the
NEW D Division Team, The Eagle Talons.
She’s called “P-LO TOPASS”
And she’s got the greatest hobby.
P-LO told the show producers he like to
Sit and eat ice cream while
Watching rainbows.
So sickeningly sweet, I could die!
She’s been imported from the far away planet
Of Puerto Rico.
Please give another hand for P-LO TOPASS!
Next year she should take my cram course on
Picking a good drag name!
Coming in NEXT is Hunk Contestant Number 4.
He’s quite a man.
That’s Venom’s BRIAN as
“MR. HOSSIER DADDY.”
Yep, he’s from the country of Indiana.
His model diet consists of beer and sugar packets.
He says he once got kicked-out of a softball tournament for telling the Umpire he “had a nice box.”
Uh…OH!
That’s Brian, as “Hossier Daddy”.
Naughty Daddy, naughty!
For Miss Number 4 we have a former
Porn actress who once slept with RON JEREMY.
She’s really called Tony, but tonight
Please welcome the scandalous “MISS CARRIAGE”.
She’s a country lass…with chickens and goats at home.
The real kind.
Her model diet consists of Little Debbie Cakes and sweet tea.
She said she went to a seedy Nashville night club once
And had sex with KITCHEN.
Girl---some things are best kept secret!!!
Let’s have more MEN!
Here comes Contestant Number 5, Hunk KYLE, as “RAMSHACK RAMSEY”.
Sexy man, that name sounds dirty!!!!
He normally has vodka for dinner and an occasional Tic-Tac.
Kyle says he’s played with HSL for 2 years, and
He used to date Walter from last year’s show.
You didn’t want to borrow Walter’s chaps?
Welcome Kyle as RAMSHACK RAMSEY.
That’s Miss Contestant #5
She’s Jason of the Blue Knights Team
This year she’s called “TINA TOOTIN”
Really she gets the Susan Lucci Award
For being in this pageant 20 out of 21 times.
When asked by the producers to name
Something UNIQUE about herself, she said
“I have THREE nipples.”
Please don’t show us.
Next we have Mr. Hunk #6
That’s Neon John as the DIGITAL COWBOY
Neon is the HSL Webmaster
And all-around computer geek!
We love her.
He’s got landing lights on the inside of his
Hairy legs!
John plays for the D Division
Whackers Team, as Short Stop.
Contestant Number 6, Hunk John, as the Digital Cowboy…
Miss Contestant #6 looks a lot like a real woman
But the Whackers drafted her before taking a
Look at her cup…or lack of a cup!
That’s Stacey as LEZZIE MCGUIRE.
LEZZIE as in comfortable shoes?
For the first time in our 21 year history,
A real woman up for MISS HSL.
The times, they are a changin’!
More men, More Men!
Contestant #7 is no stranger to HSL
That’s Hunk Jim Fox as “RIDE ‘EM COWBOY”
He’s also Bam-Bam’s other half.
In fact, when the producers asked him about his diet, he said he “…eats all Bam-Bam, all the time.”
Now I’m gonna heave.
You’re looking at RIDE ‘EM COWBOY…
…Hunk Jim, sponsored by the D Division Cowboys.
Our MISS Contestant Number 7 is
Gary, of the C Division Grizzlies.
She’s called “FREDA LAY”
Freda says she’s on the Karen Carpenter diet.
She’s a model because she says she’s not qualified to do anything else.
Freda Lay has been a member of HSL for 5 years.
Men’s Number 8 is up next!
He’s a newby to HSL…
Yes, a show virgin.
That’s Hunk Dustin of the C Division Sharks as “EAZY D. LITE”
He looks easy. He looks lite.
This just might work!
He says his diet goes like this---Eat in Public, throw-up in private! Duuuuuhhhh!
Eazy D. says he wanted to be a model since the first time he tried on Momma’s underwear.
Welcome our last Hunk Contestant, DUSTIN, as Eazy D. Lite.
MISS Contestant Number 8 was in this contest last year.
That’s Shawn of the D Division Stingrays.
She’s really called “SHAWNDRA LEER.”
Shawndra says “Move over bitches, momma is here.”
She never gets embarrassed.
Her model diet is a simple formula…
…One bump of Tina for breakfast, two bumps of Whitney for Lunch, and a sensible Chicklet for dinner.
Contestant Number 8, SHAWNDRA LEER.
Last and Least is the great granddaughter of Constance Le Cruising…
By day he’s CLIFF of the D-Division ROOKS team.
By night, he’s CHERRI COLA.
This is his first year in HSL.
Cherri says she’s got the 3-F’s going for her: FABULOUS, FIERCE, and FRISKY.
She says three days before a pageant or photo shoot she eats nothing but Ex-Lax and Water.
Please welcome Cherrie Cola.
(HOSTS: BRING EVERYONE BACK OUT on STAGE EXCEPT first 2 women contestants!!!)
And that’s PRESENTATION!
(Welcome Guests, welcome to HSL, welcome your show Production team of Macon-McCracken)
--------------------------
Run of Show Follows:
HSL Project RUNaWAY 2005
PRELUDE Show CD TRACK______)
(BACKSTAGE) Smoke machine starts behind Shadowbox.
ACT 1 (RUNWAY)
(OPENING NUMBER)
Curtain closed (SHOW CD TRACK #1 ) (:00 TRT)
(OFF STAGE) At cue, curtain will open just enough to give way for the Shadowbox, and an entrance/exit space.
Art’s voice on microphone will introduce Kitty, in Shadowbox…
…Then Art introduces Gary Durden, behind Denton in Shadowbox with a knife.
BOTH HOSTS walk out of the Shadowbox to the runway. They then will go off stage______ and immediately begin introducing the Presentation Contestants.
(HOSTS please keep the introductions as short as possible, and talk in the same place every time, so the DJ can raise and lower the volume of the music. (Note: DO NOT, for ANY REASON, ask the DJ to stop the music for the Contestants/Between the Contestants.)
KITTY: Contestant #1_______________________
JENNA: Contestant #2 From the ___________team….
ETC.
When the last Contestant is introduced, the music will fade.
Kitty & Jenna say “hello” and welcome to the show, talk about this fundraiser, and the purpose of the tip buckets.
KITTY: Now it’s time to meet your show producers and judges…(introduce the Production Team of McCracken-Macon. Please mention 2003’s “Who Will Be The Next Hotlanta Idol?” and 2004’s “HSL Penthouse Party”)
KITTY and JENNA exit, change slightly for Women’s Talent)
Kitchen & RR chit-chat about the Hotlanta Softball League
The 2005 Show Committee, then introduce Judges.
(BACKSTAGE) Women’s Talent #1 is READY.
RR & Kitch re-intro Gary & Denton (SHOW CD Track)
KITTY & JENNA enter thru side of curtains, then chit-chat about the couture show they have just seen, and what is coming-up. Re-establish TIP BUCKET policies…
Curtain OPENS For Women’s Contestant #1_____
ACT 2 TALENT
Women’s TALENT begins
(See OTHER SHEET for Act CDs & Track #s)
There will be 16 different CDs lined correctly in SHOEBOX.)
(KITTY & JENNA come out on front of stage. They make funny remarks after every act.
At the end of the MISS Talent, the show will go into intermission.
INTERMISSION
(BACKSTAGE): Art & Crew restore Original Shadowbox+ Light
(BACKSTAGE) Tabulation of Women’s award
Act 3 Re-Open of Show TBA
Curtain Opens to Runway Set (AGAIN)
Men’s Bathing Suit (music Tracks TBA repeat if necessary)
HOSTS bring ALL Male Contestants Back on Stage at the End for Applause. Men, stay in swimsuit, and be prepared to come back out that way later. Men exit.
(BACKSTAGE) Tabulation ofMen’s award
(BACKSTAGE)Tabulation of People’s Choice
KITTY comes up in front of curtain, introduces the last walk of Jenna Tellya.
(No Music Here)
ACT 4 (Last Walk, Awards)
KITTY talks more about HSL then introduce Jenna Tellya
Last Walk Jenna Tellya (__________CD Track#___)
HOSTS: chit-chat.
Then they will then bring all of the Contestants back on stage, as they did in the beginning. (Music Tracks TBA repeat if necessary)
HOSTS: give-out the People’s Choice Award.
Crowning (Music tracks TBA ---)
(End of Show)
(BACKSTAGE)Winners/Talent/Producers proceed to Silent Auction Area for handshakes.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Should I Self Publish?
Self Publishing must be the topic of the month because instances of it keep coming across my desk!
Thanks to my Writers Group, I got the best link, with tips on how to submit manuscripts for Self Publishing.
Setting the process up takes a while, and is a bit costly. But depending on your project, it might be a viable option.
As an experiement, I'm going to ask around and see if my local writer friends have done this.
The only two people I know who have Self Published include my boss and a dead guy. The former Self Published to save himself the pain of shopping it around. The later passed away and his partner and mother made sure that his story Lightning Bug Land got a fair treatment. It is wonderful, and I wish you could read it.
Here's the helpful site: http://www.coldtreepress.com/publish/moreinfo.html#manu .
Thanks to my Writers Group, I got the best link, with tips on how to submit manuscripts for Self Publishing.
Setting the process up takes a while, and is a bit costly. But depending on your project, it might be a viable option.
As an experiement, I'm going to ask around and see if my local writer friends have done this.
The only two people I know who have Self Published include my boss and a dead guy. The former Self Published to save himself the pain of shopping it around. The later passed away and his partner and mother made sure that his story Lightning Bug Land got a fair treatment. It is wonderful, and I wish you could read it.
Here's the helpful site: http://www.coldtreepress.com/publish/moreinfo.html#manu .
Monday, April 2, 2007
Revamp Your Web Site With These Ideas
Your web site can make money. It's really possible.
The trouble? We are all familiar with our own sites, which makes it pretty easy to miss the obvious problems. Are people getting enough out of your site? Does it overwhelm with one element or the other?
We renovated a friend's site over the weekend. She is a very smart client who had a lot more information on the site than was needed. She agreed a lot of what she listed was there simply as a "...journal for her own research".
I told her "...we want shoppers to come to the site...give them a tease at what your company can do for them...then find a way to gather their information for follow-up."
These are the tips I gave her:
A. Strengthen overall "look" of site.
B. Edit the writing.
C. Add better graphics or less common font styles. Free fonts at:(http://simplythebest.net/fonts/)*
D. Add visual elements (photographs) Free photos at: (http://www.flickr.com)**
To do this yourself, print each page of your web based site.
1. Go through it and find the blank spaces and mark them with boxes. These will represent all of the "wasted space" on your site. Could these be strengthened with visual elements?
2. Now identify all font problems. Is the font too small? Too boring? Could the style be changed to reflect more energy or readability? Just try visiting a site offering "free fonts"* and you will see hundreds of choices available.
3. Most of us overwrite. By this I mean "...we write TOO MUCH." On several of my friend's paragraphs I even wrote "...too deep." This is because she was including concepts and theorems the common person would not understand. Most of the materials related to courses she offers. I convinced her to include these in the form of "Download a Syllabus" keys.
4. Now go to the free photograph site** and put in a key word relating to your site. You will probably see hundreds of photographs you can use free of charge. You've heard the cliche' '...one picture is worth a thousand words'. That truism continues to be heard because one photo can say what hundreds of words cannot.
At CNN video edit supervisors used to say "...we have more of a power to mislead people than to lead them." That is because when dealing in the visual realm, your choices are limitless. However, whether or not the chosen photograph or graphic confuses the viewer is a different story!
Experiment with these additions, then re-print the new design a couple days later and take a fresh look. Hopefully, you will increase your traffic on the site!
The trouble? We are all familiar with our own sites, which makes it pretty easy to miss the obvious problems. Are people getting enough out of your site? Does it overwhelm with one element or the other?
We renovated a friend's site over the weekend. She is a very smart client who had a lot more information on the site than was needed. She agreed a lot of what she listed was there simply as a "...journal for her own research".
I told her "...we want shoppers to come to the site...give them a tease at what your company can do for them...then find a way to gather their information for follow-up."
These are the tips I gave her:
A. Strengthen overall "look" of site.
B. Edit the writing.
C. Add better graphics or less common font styles. Free fonts at:(http://simplythebest.net/fonts/)*
D. Add visual elements (photographs) Free photos at: (http://www.flickr.com)**
To do this yourself, print each page of your web based site.
1. Go through it and find the blank spaces and mark them with boxes. These will represent all of the "wasted space" on your site. Could these be strengthened with visual elements?
2. Now identify all font problems. Is the font too small? Too boring? Could the style be changed to reflect more energy or readability? Just try visiting a site offering "free fonts"* and you will see hundreds of choices available.
3. Most of us overwrite. By this I mean "...we write TOO MUCH." On several of my friend's paragraphs I even wrote "...too deep." This is because she was including concepts and theorems the common person would not understand. Most of the materials related to courses she offers. I convinced her to include these in the form of "Download a Syllabus" keys.
4. Now go to the free photograph site** and put in a key word relating to your site. You will probably see hundreds of photographs you can use free of charge. You've heard the cliche' '...one picture is worth a thousand words'. That truism continues to be heard because one photo can say what hundreds of words cannot.
At CNN video edit supervisors used to say "...we have more of a power to mislead people than to lead them." That is because when dealing in the visual realm, your choices are limitless. However, whether or not the chosen photograph or graphic confuses the viewer is a different story!
Experiment with these additions, then re-print the new design a couple days later and take a fresh look. Hopefully, you will increase your traffic on the site!
Friday, March 30, 2007
Edit Testimonials for Your Marketing Materials
Small business owners who are gathering materials to market their products often ask "...do I need to include testimonials in my hand-outs?"
.
My answer is a definite YES.
.
This is because I know from experience undecided buyers will respond to a testimonial rather than a real live human being in their face saying "...buy now! I did and love it."
.
Marketing Truth: Testimonials sell products when Buyers are undecided!
.
However buyers will still be skeptical if they only see a previous buyer's first name listed as "I loved it. Ray M./Atlanta".
.
That's because the assumed thought is "...he must NOT like the product THAT much, or he would have included his LAST name."
.
Sadly this is because dishonest marketers and writers will "make up" testimonials, just as some bad newspaper writers occasionally "make up" quotations when they can get away with it.
.
I know someone who once was covering the opening of a theme park ride and made-up a quote because it was 'safe'. He included this sentence, supposedly from a park attendee: "...I loved it. The ride is fast."
.
Now who, getting off a roller coaster, doesn't say "it's fast" ? The writer, who had not attended the event, had a good laugh. And an easy paycheck!
.
To me, it was lazy writing!
.
Part of the fun is in the actual participating in the experience. Even at the level of experiencing the product. Do you not agree? There is a great amount of respect in knowing how I felt while experiencing the product (...or process, or event?)
.
On the opposite coast....on Truth Beach----(my beach)---Friend Leah Henderson, a nationally respected counselor and personal coach, sent a letter to all her clients and said "...I'm looking for some honest testimonials, can you help me?" Needless to say she got more than she could include on the site!
.
Below are some examples of true testimonials from our business. Keep in mind I was very particular that the comments were not alike, and that each was as short as possible. Please note I included each business owner in bold font.
.
Q: What would bring you back to Persily & Associates?
.
"...Wonderful staff! Very pleasant to work with!"
Karen Cash, Prudential Georgia Realty
"...Efficiency with the paperwork!"
Scott Zampach, property buyer
"...the champagne gift from the firm was VERY classy."
Ken Murray, Freedom First Mortgage
"...the personal approach and the ability to answer
my questions and concerns."
Dora Capers-Penn, property buyer
“…I had a very GOOD experience with Persily & Associates.”
Linda Bridges, Re/Max Advantage
“I just wanted to thank you for your good service. My
Closing went very smoothly. All of your efforts were appreciated.”
Tim Walsh, Developer
"...outstanding customer service. Very prompt, and this was
the fastest closing I have ever experienced, thank you!"
Stephen Jenkins, JBK Investors Group
"...they explained in detail all of my documents."
Raphael Downer, property owner
"...terrific service, and a friendly atmosphere."
Valerie Kong-Kwee All-N-One Mortgage
"...they provided an organized, clear description, of each item to be signed."
Ken Johnson, property owner
“…your exceptional front desk---gracious each time I called,
helpful, courteous, and
delightful.”
Helen Brown, Re/Max Executives
Karen Cash, Prudential Georgia Realty
"...Efficiency with the paperwork!"
Scott Zampach, property buyer
"...the champagne gift from the firm was VERY classy."
Ken Murray, Freedom First Mortgage
"...the personal approach and the ability to answer
my questions and concerns."
Dora Capers-Penn, property buyer
“…I had a very GOOD experience with Persily & Associates.”
Linda Bridges, Re/Max Advantage
“I just wanted to thank you for your good service. My
Closing went very smoothly. All of your efforts were appreciated.”
Tim Walsh, Developer
"...outstanding customer service. Very prompt, and this was
the fastest closing I have ever experienced, thank you!"
Stephen Jenkins, JBK Investors Group
"...they explained in detail all of my documents."
Raphael Downer, property owner
"...terrific service, and a friendly atmosphere."
Valerie Kong-Kwee All-N-One Mortgage
"...they provided an organized, clear description, of each item to be signed."
Ken Johnson, property owner
“…your exceptional front desk---gracious each time I called,
helpful, courteous, and
delightful.”
Helen Brown, Re/Max Executives
Elevator Speech Example 2 & 3 "Divorce" & "Rainbows"
Good afternoon…you’re probably thinking “…now THERE’S a guy who loves Broadway Musicals” and you are right.
One of my favorite shows is Urinetown where a dying Bobby Strong laments “Why did I listen to my heart? I heard its call and made this revolution start.”
Ahhh…love. It stirs up all kinds of emotions inside, eh?
Two men who came into our firm last week were once in love. Sadly, they had come to the end of a nine-year relationship and were splitting property. One took the house, the other---the pool condo.
Just last night the younger fellow called me and said “Ray, the condo isn’t ready, the floors and kitchen are not in and he is KICKING ME OUT of the MAIN HOUSE. What are my rights?”
Now you know I only play a lawyer on the Hellivision, so I put him in touch with our Litigation Department to see if they could help.
However, that’s a downer---let’s go back to being in love! Now, imagine ______ and I are a couple and we are in love. Don’t ya just love, love?
And we’ll probably be together forever, I just know it. But hey, while I’m still happy I should discuss this situation with _____.
What if we break up? Can I still leave this relationship with my stuff? Do I still owe you half?
At P& A, we can help with these decisions.
We sell Partnership Agreements, similar to Pre-Nuptials, where you can protect yourself and your love’s assets.
Don’t wait to protect yourself, or you might be lamenting like Bobby Strong!
“Relax, we’re closing at Persily.”
-------------------
You know---a person once told me---as a hobby---they liked sitting outside eating ice cream and watching rainbows! And whereas I think they were being sarcastic, I said “So do I, so do I.”
But I got to thinking, if you are going to be that type of person, you need a couple of things: You need a comfortable chair to sit IN, and a big porch to sit ON.
By the beach, in the mountains, in the burbs, by the city beat---you need a HOUSE to sit AT.
And with heavy perspiration, and I see it daily---you’ll close on a house.
It’s my job to make sure that closing is easy and care-free.
I like to say I am the last handshake BEFORE the American Dream. I’m that guy who hands you a bottle of champagne, right before your realtor hands you the keys to your front door.
As you make your way back to your big porch today and your comfortable chair…Please think of me, and think of the Real Estate Agent who helped you buy your American Dream. I want to meet them. We would be great business partners, AND---I can buy them a lot of ice cream!
I’m Ray Macon… “Relax---you’re Closing at Persily.”
One of my favorite shows is Urinetown where a dying Bobby Strong laments “Why did I listen to my heart? I heard its call and made this revolution start.”
Ahhh…love. It stirs up all kinds of emotions inside, eh?
Two men who came into our firm last week were once in love. Sadly, they had come to the end of a nine-year relationship and were splitting property. One took the house, the other---the pool condo.
Just last night the younger fellow called me and said “Ray, the condo isn’t ready, the floors and kitchen are not in and he is KICKING ME OUT of the MAIN HOUSE. What are my rights?”
Now you know I only play a lawyer on the Hellivision, so I put him in touch with our Litigation Department to see if they could help.
However, that’s a downer---let’s go back to being in love! Now, imagine ______ and I are a couple and we are in love. Don’t ya just love, love?
And we’ll probably be together forever, I just know it. But hey, while I’m still happy I should discuss this situation with _____.
What if we break up? Can I still leave this relationship with my stuff? Do I still owe you half?
At P& A, we can help with these decisions.
We sell Partnership Agreements, similar to Pre-Nuptials, where you can protect yourself and your love’s assets.
Don’t wait to protect yourself, or you might be lamenting like Bobby Strong!
“Relax, we’re closing at Persily.”
-------------------
You know---a person once told me---as a hobby---they liked sitting outside eating ice cream and watching rainbows! And whereas I think they were being sarcastic, I said “So do I, so do I.”
But I got to thinking, if you are going to be that type of person, you need a couple of things: You need a comfortable chair to sit IN, and a big porch to sit ON.
By the beach, in the mountains, in the burbs, by the city beat---you need a HOUSE to sit AT.
And with heavy perspiration, and I see it daily---you’ll close on a house.
It’s my job to make sure that closing is easy and care-free.
I like to say I am the last handshake BEFORE the American Dream. I’m that guy who hands you a bottle of champagne, right before your realtor hands you the keys to your front door.
As you make your way back to your big porch today and your comfortable chair…Please think of me, and think of the Real Estate Agent who helped you buy your American Dream. I want to meet them. We would be great business partners, AND---I can buy them a lot of ice cream!
I’m Ray Macon… “Relax---you’re Closing at Persily.”
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